Update One Hundred and Ninety-Two: 23 June 2018
HuniePop
14.3 hours, 11 of 20 achievements
Long beleaguered sigh/10
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Oh my god I can’t believe I blew my entire Friday night and the better part of my Saturday playing fucking HuniePop. This is why I don’t play casual mobile games and match-3’s, folks.
But I did, I’ve done it, I bit the bullet and I played HuniePop, I did my intellectual don’t-knock-it-‘til-you-try-it duty. I played the face of Steam VN Armageddon 2018.
And it’s not even a fucking VN at all! There’s nothing VN-like about this - it’s a match-3 game with a softcore porn wrapper and an anime art style. On the one hand, I’m relieved I don’t have to genre-defend this game’s existence on steam (tbh, I don’t think it belongs on steam bc it’s straight up just A Sex Game), and on the other hand… it’s both better than and just about what I expected.
You can be gay in this game and that made it MUCH more tolerable - though it’s more than clear this is made by and for straight men, so it’s more than a little alienating. What writing there was was… uneven at best - the lampshade-hanging Kyu was hilarious (and relatable. I also have that same reaction when people ask me what my favorite color is) but how… stereotypical the characters tended to be is… boring to say the least, both gender- and race-wise. The body diversity is also “staggering” - the characters all weigh between 100 to 128 pounds (and all of them over 115 pounds lament at how fat they are) and feature tiddies varying from DD all the way to “only” a C cup. (Wait, my bad, there are even TWO characters with B cups! holy fuck!) As a woman who loves women? It’s alien that THIS is the limit of fuckability. The absolute gulf between men making sexual media about women and women making sexual media about women is like the… the… Alexa, google the big fuckoff trench on Mars. That’s how big.
I knew my boney grumpy feminist ass wouldn’t enjoy this, but I beat it anyway. The gameplay was addicting, which is where half my friggin’ weekend went. Come for the match-3’s, stay for the softcore porn pictures you unlock and ungodly awkward speed match-3 that occurs when it comes time to ‘bed’ each girl. Oh, and the music wasn’t bad. Beli and Kyu for best girls.
Next up: We’re nearing the end of the month and I’m taking matters into my own hands. I was told by a trusted source that this was a very good VN SO I’M PLAYING IT
See you soon!
This review made me laugh, thanks :D Even if I love match 3 games I think this will go in the “do not touch with a 10 feet pole” category.
YES making people laugh is my favorite thing!
I’m glad I can play it so you don’t have to!
I get trapped in the ‘well how can you say you don’t like it if you’ve NEVER EVEN PLAYED IT’ bullshit argument at the most inopportune of times, and it’s rare that I actually play the thing and go ‘oh! I was wrong! I do like this!’ It’s much more usually ‘yep, that’s what I thought it was and I don’t like it.’ Escape the trap! Put it in ‘never play’.
Luckily I don’t own it so I don’t even have to do that :D But I was considering of getting it in a bundle or something just for the match 3 aspect of it. Nope.
I have 100% in hunie pop D: And 31hours xD Though I did follow guide to grab last achievements fast.
Funny thing is that I played it due to friend that loved hunie pop. And I wanted to try to play game she loved so much… and then well. It’s nice match-3 game and then my 100% collector OCD came to play forcing me to complete it D:
That’s a good feat - this game was pretty hard.
I felt the same compulsion, which is why I set a hard limit - getting the ‘sleep with all girls by 18 days’ achievement - and counting it ‘beaten’ when I did that. Anything else was gravy. If I didn’t, I’d do nothing else but play it… which is bad.
Well you knew you weren’t going to like it, but I’m glad you tried it anyway. My favorite game reviews are from people who open there mind to anything (unless it’s super creepy of course :P)
I thought I might get Huniepop a few times, but seeing that I’m a straight woman who isn’t into Match 3 games. There was literally no reason for me to get the bundle lol
Yeah, phew. On the one hand, I’m happy for the praise, but on the other hand, I think this is my one ‘open mind!’ game for a while.
Also yes absolutely, lol. Even being attracted to women doesn’t help that much. Literally the only thing for you is to be… kinda creeped out and probably feel bad about yourself. (“Oh, I’m 120 pounds, I need to get on a diet!”Really, Huniepop? Really?) Save yourself the trouble and if you happen to come across a key, steamgift it to a sadboy in need.
The voice-acting was decent at least :P
I did like the voice acting, especially Kyu’s and Jessie’s. Though I suspected they doubled up on voice actresses for the girls, and especially during the ‘sex dates’. I unmuted in time to catch the, uh, crescendoing cries, and after the 9th or 10th girl I was going ‘okay I’ve definitely heard that orgasm before’.