Progress report: August ‘22 (a.k.a. It’s Still The Holidays!)
Hello, fellow assassins! Took me a while to get this post out, mainly due to the fact that I keep putting off writing reviews for Game Pass assassinations… for reasons I can’t quite explain. The start of the month was quite turbulent; my sleep schedule was a total mess, and if that wasn’t enough, I got teh coh-veedz. No need to ask how I’m doing though, I’m totally fine! After recovering, I simply got back to the routine of, uh… playing Game Pass games just about every day.
Here’s what I got done this month:
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100 hidden mice
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Donut County
2.9 hours playtime
20 of 20 achievements
GAME
PASS -
Firewatch
4.9 hours playtime
10 of 10 achievements
GAME
PASS -
Four Rendezvous
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Gardenia: Prologue
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Lake
8.2 hours playtime
10 of 10 achievements
GAME
PASS -
my brother lives in a canyon
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PAW Patrol The Movie: Adventure City Calls
8.1 hours playtime
30 of 30 achievements
GAME
PASS -
PowerWash Simulator
64.5 hours playtime
40 of 40 achievements
GAME
PASS -
The Procession to Calvary
2.7 hours playtime
21 of 21 achievements
GAME
PASS -
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
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The Walking Dead: Michonne
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The Walking Dead: Season Two
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The Walking Dead: The Final Season
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Twelve Minutes
4.7 hours playtime
12 of 12 achievements
GAME
PASS -
What Remains of Edith Finch
2.2 hours playtime
10 of 10 achievements
GAME
PASS
100 hidden mice - Just… another one of these.
Donut County - If you were offered to move to a place called Donut County, surely you’d do it, right? Well, I’ve got some tough news for ya, buddy, you’re now in fact camping underground. Donut County is the story of Mira, a human girl, but more importantly, her raccoon friend, BK. Being the trash panda that he is, BK sold “donuts” to just about everyone in Donut County. Since these “donuts” didn’t taste as great as they were expected to, it’s up to those two to work it out. There’s a simple and highly satisfying gameplay loop here - swallow everything you can while gradually growing. However, judging by the reviews, many people seem to have expected something more like Katamari Damacy, and while I still haven’t had the chance to tackle anything from that franchise, I can see where they’re coming from. Donut County follows a clear-cut story, and with its length, it definitely falls short of the price it’s being sold for. I’m glad to have played that game for free on Xbox, it’d have to be on a deep discount for me to consider buying it somewhere else. I also really wasn’t a fan of the “modern”, memetic approach to dialogue. There’s a fine line between what’s reasonably entertaining and what sounds like the script was originally written in Twitter drafts.
Firewatch - This game looks gorgeous, has great music and solid voice acting. However, the plot takes a nose-dive when one of the main characters starts focusing on a thing that, at first, doesn’t seem all that important. It also suffers from a case of “painfully subverted ending” (or whatever else you might call it), where you’d expect what’s perhaps a “fairy-tale” ending, only to be hit with the exact opposite. In those cases, I’m all about the fairy-tale endings, so this really didn’t do it for me. That being said, if not for the plot, I would say Firewatch ranks high as a walking simulator, just because it gives the player something to do besides walking in a straight line. I’m looking forward to the devs’ next game.
Four Rendezvous - This is a great example of a Russian VN done well; the art is gorgeous, the soundtrack - beautiful, there’s even full voice acting! I just… really wish there had been more to it. It’s a love story, plain and simple, yes, but no matter how much I see this kind of relationship develop between people in real life, I still can’t believe it in fiction. The main character meets the heroine exactly four times, and just because they had both been stuck with terrible lovers, they realized they actually love each other? Gimme a break… The dream/real life plot mixed a tad too much at times, I’d think it was the real life, but then something would happen that was a tad off… That’s why this one is very middle of the road for me, the presentation is amazing, but there’s still something very amateurish about it.
Gardenia: Prologue - I went into this one fully expecting a farm sim, as I was in the mood for something like that and have since realized that, uh… it’s more of a scavenger/gatherer kind of game, with some platforming involved. It’s very empty, with not a lot to interact with or do, which technically could be excused by the fact that it’s pretty much a demo, but it didn’t really pull me in. It’s so empty, in fact, that I must have spent the first hour on running on base level alone (no super-jumping/flying that the game lets you do), for the sake of checking if it really is that empty. I could have used more NPCs, more coherent worldbuilding, a tidier crafting system (if you can’t pick up a thing you just crafted, but you’re still trying to craft in hopes of emptying your inventory, everything will shoot out all over the place) and less manly grunting (I can appreciate quirky mouth sounds, but that was just… it’s not like we even know who the player character is, can they not be feminine?) …I suppose I’ll keep a lookout on the full game.
Lake - Imagine, if you will, USA in the eighties. These bulky-looking “personal computer” things are slowly, but surely becoming commonplace, and more and more accompanying software is being developed. Meredith Weiss is one of many developers of such software… but this isn’t a story about that. This is a story about Providence Oaks, Oregon; Meredith’s hometown, to which she returns in hopes of taking a break from work in the big city. While her parents are on holidays in Florida, she takes up her dad’s job as the local mailman, which sets her on the path of reconnecting with old acquaintances, rekindling friendships, and maybe even getting to know someone new… I had no idea about what this game was going to be like, just kind of guessed that I’d enjoy it and so I tried it. I ended up absolutely loving it. The ratio of busywork to events is just perfect. Driving around while listening to the radio (which is great, the licensed songs really fit the overall vibe of the game) can be a simply satisfying experience, but I was pleasantly surprised by the fact that as you visit all major locations, you unlock fast travel points, as well as markers you can auto-drive towards; it really streamlined the whole thing. There were only a few minor issues, such as an extended loading time in a particular location, a few empty textboxes you have to know to click through, or the fact that the resident old lady clearly sounds like another character putting on an “old lady” voice (‘cause she is, really), but all that was nothing, compared to the pleasure I derived from playing this game. Highly recommended for a chill afternoon.
my brother lives in a canyon - Exactly What It Says On The Tin™️, my brother lives in a canyon is a walking sim about Jake and Tom, who reminisce about the past, as Jake’s on his way to meet Tom. It’s an excellent premise that draws you in, with pleasing graphics, nice music and serviceable voice acting. I’m glad it’s free, as that makes it much easier to recommend; I’m certainly surprised I hadn’t heard about it until just recently.
Paw Patrol The Movie: Adventure City Calls - This game is the stuff of nightmares. I was in love with the idea of Paw Patrol after completing the first game, and I still am, but this game is just a dirty cashgrab and I refuse to be convinced otherwise. Most glaring is the issue of it simply crashing a minute, maybe two into the very first mission; a full-on crash with a Unity error window popping up, which to this day remains supposedly impossible to replicate by the devs - basically a fucking joke. I was only able to experience this game through Xbox Cloud Gaming, and with the most basic of internet speeds, that was less than comfortable, but I digress. The count of collectables (treats) you have to get across all of the levels and minigames was, I believe, quadrupled from the previous game, which is absolutely mindblowing; isn’t this supposed to be a relaxing game for kids? No kid is going to be interested in collecting that much stuff. To further add insult to injury, most of those will be collected in one and the same driving minigame, which while available in the previous game, was only used sparingly. Here, according to some simple math, you’d have to perfectly complete it about 30 times, and that’s without accounting for mistakes. Not to mention that the devs for some reason decided to get rid of the treat counters in individual minigame levels, so you now also have to keep track of that on your own. Last, but not least, what absolutely broke me were some of the translated strings. I suppose Xbox automatically chooses the game’s language based on the language my PC/Xbox app is set in, which is fine (though in the game itself there is no option to change that, which is also criminal), but… instead of just being distracting, as it was in the previous game, here it’s just downright sad. When you complete a minigame, I assume the text that pops up says “Game complete!” in the English version… but in the Polish one, it’s been translated to “Full game version!” …seriously, was this shit machine translated? You’d think Nickelodeon would care about what I assume is one of their most popular franchises to date. If you value your time and your money, avoid this game at all costs. Maybe go outside and play some kind of ball game with your kid, that can’t not be fun.
PowerWash Simulator - If you’ve been living under a rock for the past, I dunno, year or so… PowerWash Simulator is Exactly What It Says On The Tin™️; a simulator game that lets you start a powerwashing business. And where to start, if not in good ol’ Muckingham! The people there will have all kinds of jobs for you, from their bikes or cars, through houses, all the way to ships or airplanes! It was great fun doing an honest day’s work during every session, earning a good handful of cash and using it to upgrade my equipment later on. Honestly, I think we should just collectively decide to leave making simulator games to these devs, because my only complaint is that this game’s just too addicting! But more seriously, it does get repetitive eventually…
The Procession to Calvary - A small point-and-click made up of rennaissance works of art and Monty Python-esque humor. It was okay, I don’t suppose I’m that big of a fan of either of those. It was nice to play as a protagonist who bended stereotypes left and right, though.
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier - It’s “The One Where They’re All Horny”, as I dubbed it once in a conversation. Kate and Javier’s relationship was much easier to digest if you just went for it, but I’m still not a fan of Clem and Gabe “bonding” just because “she’s a teenager, of course she’d be interested!”, I guess.
The Walking Dead: Michonne - My TWD replay binge started winding me down around this time, so it’s tough to come up with anything new to say. I want to say I tried making Michonne a tad different than I did the first time around, but really, it’s hard to not want to make her be the badass she is.
The Walking Dead: Season Two - Another replay, bless Xbox’s Cloud Gaming function! This time, I tried shifting my outlook on the characters from how it was when I played the first time around and boy, it’s a whole another story. No wonder the finale of this game might just be one of the most divisive choices to be made in gaming of all time.
The Walking Dead: The Final Season - Finally tackled this one! In any other case, I would have left it for next year, but since Game Pass gave me the opportunity to replay all of the previous entries, I decided I might as well finish my adventure with the franchise once and for all. Clem’s all grown up now, taking care of AJ once again. Soon enough, they’re swept up and taken to what was once a facility for troubled youth… and here’s where everything really starts. This time, the main cast is made up entirely of children/teens, who eventually have to face off against blood-thirsty adults; that’s one thing I liked, as it gave off this “old kids’ movie” kind of vibe. However, an issue I do have is how much different this cast is from all the other ones. Not only does it seem to imply that kids tend to get into arguments that are much more petty than adults (while personally, I believe there’s more of a balance), but it also makes most of the cast unmemorable. From a technical standpoint, yes, I do know the whole main cast by name, but really, most of them contribute little-to-nothing, as two characters in particular gradually stand out more and more. Speaking of which, as much as I let myself get endeared to the characters in question, I’m still not a fan of putting Clem in a situation where you have to choose between “friendzone” and “something more”. You say “but it’s about time she got a crush on someone!”, I say “she’s been just fine not having any interest before, and not necessarily because of the apocalypse”. Hence, I prefer to think of the choices in those scenes as ones I’ve made for myself, rather than for her. In general, the game really does feel like a fresh breath of air, rather than the thing that killed its maker, but it also shows in the annoying things. For once (possibly the first time ever, in this line of games), there are achievements you can miss, ones for performing special actions and ones for collectibles. However, while the change to a sort of “free roam”, not unlike DONTNOD’s titles looks-wise, along with the action sequences no longer being scripted half the time does a lot to make the game more interactive, it’s quite tough to play the game well with a controller. Not to mention that the one QoL function available in all the previous games, scene select, has been removed for seemingly no reason. Come on, Telltale! DONTNOD’s games have a whole-ass “isolated replay” option just for collectables, what are you doing?! Lastly, the ending… ehh, to me it just felt like big-time wish fulfillment. Still, it’s probably not the first time this series did such a leap of logic, so I guess that was just a nice way to wrap everything up. Final verdict: I liked it, but didn’t love it. Would definitely think twice before picking it up on a different platform.
Twelve Minutes - Holy crap, it’s that game! The wildly overpriced one! The one with the all-star cast! The one with time-sensitive gameplay! Yeah… yep. I played it… and I just didn’t like it, at all. The voice acting might have been just the best thing about this whole ordeal. I knew what to expect from the gameplay thanks to a video I watched some time in the past, but still, maybe this kind of “time loop, do everything step by step” gameplay just isn’t for me. The “big twist” also wasn’t anything groundbreaking, since the internet’s been screaming about it soon after the game first came out… and sue me, but I don’t think it’s as horrible as people paint it to be. These are just pixels on a screen, after all.
What Remains of Edith Finch - Easily the best walking simulator I’ve played yet, if not ever. The game puts you in the shoes of Edith as she returns to her childhood home, years after she’s last seen it, in hopes of retracing the steps of her ancestors. It’s a magical, magnificent, but also gut-wrenching story about remembering your roots and being proud of where you’ve come from. Personally, I’d recommend it to just about anyone.
See you next month! :)
Wow nice progress. I agree with a lot of your opinions. I loved Firewatch until it hit that point you mentioned. It fell flat in the second half. I still really enjoyed it. The first Walking Dead game is one of my favorites so the rest of the games were a little bit of a dissapointment for me. I expected the final season to be horrible, especially with what happened to Telltale, but I enjoyed it! Your right though, I dont remember any characters other then like 2 or 3!
Thank you! Firewatch was gorgeous and then it just… agh, it’s just squandered potential. It looks gorgeous and sounds no worse, but it could have been so much more, really.
Yep, I loved the first TWD game! Probably because it was still such a new way to present an adventure game to me; by now the concept isn’t as groundbreaking :’D
While I don’t know anything else from the franchise, save for the games, I could wager a guess the Michonne spin-off holds its ground because she’s an established character in other versions, but then A New Frontier and The Final Season… yeesh. They’d be fine without all that romance (lol).