Beating games is okay, but you can always do better Amitte’s profile

I like a lot of things most people seem to dislike.

I can also get snappy if our opinions clash - in case that happens, please tell me and I’ll try to adapt.

If I don’t have anything cool to say, I’m probably playing: Coloring Pixels, Pixel Puzzles Ultimate, WooLoop

For my ABC Challenges, go here: General, Hidden Object Games, Point and Clicks, Visual Novels.

Themes and events I took part in: May 2019 (actually totally forgot about that one), July 2019, August 2019, May 2020, June 2020, July 2020, March 2023, October 2023, November 2023, Eight to Infinity! Eight Years of BLAEO

See dem sweet Steam stats here.
PlayStation stats are here.


Progress report: November ‘24 (2/2)

This report is just a bit late… because I absolutely wrecked my sleeping schedule. Oops!

Half-Life 2

Alice in Stardom

2.6 hours
6 of 6 achievements

This one caught my eye a long time ago. A VN about becoming an idol? And it's free? Sign me up!
Well… I should have known what was in store when I opened it up and there wasn't even any BGM in the main menu.
Alice is working as an intern for a broadcaster that's about to launch their new talent show. It's a tried and true trope - one of the contestants fails to show up and when the producer spots Alice, it's go time. Lucky for her, the first episode is but an introduction, so nobody gets eliminated yet.
Right after that, the producers help Alice and her new rivals - Mary, Cherry and Taylor - move into a huge mansion complex for the duration of the show. Mary is rich and seemingly stuck-up, Cherry is a cute airhead and Taylor seems like she doesn't give a shit about anything, though she's always equipped with a good comeback if anyone were to point it out to her. After moving in, you get a day (a metaphor for the whole week) to go somewhere and possibly spend time with whoever's there at the same time. After that's done, the next week's episode airs, rinse and repeat until the show ends.
The problem is in how disjointed everything feels right from the start. My very first choice was to hang out with Taylor and the narration seemed to imply that Alice did nothing for most of the day just so she could go to Taylor's room in the evening. For a second I thought that because this option is last in line, maybe I skipped out on all the other things I could have done, making most of the day go to waste. Nope! Next time, some of the choices carried over, but I couldn't explain why if I tried. There's also only four weeks until the show is over, so whatever character development could be happening between the episodes just doesn't get enough time.
As for the show, the three middle episodes are themed, with the themes being Summer, Winter and Darkness, in this exact order. (One of these things is not like the other!)
This is where I continue my observations about music (or lack thereof); I could be wrong, but it felt like for the first hour, I was just listening to the same BGM. Bland and inoffensive, sure, but this is supposed to be a story about idols!
…yet nobody cared to change it up even for the show performances.
The lame but entertaining option would be to use an instrumental to some popular idol song, 'cause then at least you'd surprise the people who know and love it; the cooler but paid option would be to get some tracks from Nash Music Library, as they've got some great idol-like bops. But alas, random stock BGM instead.
And the writing… oh boy, the writing. Everyone keeps reiterating how often "show, don't tell" spells out disaster for so many pieces of media that fail to adhere to this simple piece of advice and Alice in Stardom is no different. During every performance, without fail, you get to read paragraphs upon paragraphs about how much the characters have changed, their progress, how amazing they are, how they must feel, how they've captivated the audience… it's almost as if the writer was contracted to provide textbook examples of waffling.
Mindblowingly enough, this could hold some weight if you got to see any of that work, change or feeling for yourself… but the game absolutely lacks any kind of middle part. No matter what you choose to do to hang out, you don't get to see any CGs or hear any particular musical cues to indicate training or any kind of feelings or emotions welling up.
And to the point of CGs, there's only maybe three of them in total and they're all of Alice performing… she doesn't even look consistent between them. They're introduced to the scene with specific camera effects, which I guess were supposed to look flashy or exciting, but keeping in mind that you're listening to the same basic piece of BGM and reading about her love for her fans, they're just annoying.
After Alice wins the show (because of course she does, she's the main character!), you get a scene where she and her new lover (?!) warm up to each other. All that middle that was already missing? Now you should also know that it was meant to make the game yuri.
This is especially ridiculous, because in no interactions with any of the characters that I got to read was there anything romantic (and if it was meant to be, then sorry, it was all written so poorly I did not perceive it as such). I don't remember hanging out with Mary even once in my first playthrough, and yet I got her scene at the end? America, explain!
I tried putting in some additional time to see how much optional stuff I could see in the hangouts, and just when I got to one with Cherry that seemed like it would lead me to get her final scene, the game threw an error because it couldn't find one of her sprites. In a flash of brilliance, instead of simply rolling back and changing my choice, I closed the game and called it quits right then and there.
This game is in dire need of varied character designs (Alice, Cherry and Taylor are all blonde, with Alice and Cherry both having blue eyes), BGM (literally the most important thing in any story about idols!) and an actual story (hangouts with CGs! vocal training that sounds like what it is! any kind of respectful flirting!), but at the same time, it came out 5 years ago and the devs have long since moved on, so I don't suppose it's trying to attract any kind of attention anymore.

Alice in Stardom is Verified on Steam Deck, which matches my experience as of 25/11/2024. Touchscreen, A, R2, R3 to advance text, R1 to rollback, L2 or Menu to bring up save menu; B to bring up accessibility options, View to skip text. Right touchpad is also active.

Half-Life 2

Botany Manor GAME
PASS

4.2 hours
36 of 36 achievements

At first glance, this game's presentation is reminiscent of The Witness, which made me wonder if I should play it in the first place. Now that I've completed it, I'm glad I decided to pick it up.
It's 1890 and you're Lady Arabella Greene, a botanist residing at the titular Botany Manor in England. You have just been given a chance to publish your own herbarium, so you get to work right away.
Botany Manor is a formulaic yet consistently exciting combination of a walking simulator and puzzle game; in each chapter, you'll be uncovering a set of locations in and around the manor, finding new seeds and gathering clues about how to grow them, and after you do, you'll be able to move on to the next one seamlessly. Besides the clues, just about each and every room will have some sort of environmental storytelling - notes and letters about Arabella's attempts to study botany being (mostly) ridiculed by men and (mostly) supported by women. I found the puzzling aspect delightfully simple in that even before you show your work (fill in a whole set of clues correctly), you can very clearly see it for yourself; I truly can't remember ever getting that sense of satisfaction from a puzzle game so consistently. (I only really "skipped" through one puzzle, because I couldn't connect the dots right on my own, and it felt like trying out random solutions would take too much time.)
Speaking of consistency, I remained amused by all the different things necessary for each and every plant to bloom successfully; some of those plants seem outright fantastical, but I'm too afraid to say anything more in case I sound like an idiot. The way new areas open up with the start of each new chapter makes you want to keep going, too; entering every other area for the first time triggers the background music to swell…
If I had to talk about something I didn't like, I'd choose what seems to be a universal complaint amongst players: the lack of a menu for the clues to carry over in. While countless other games that feature interactable letters, articles, notes etc. will save them to a separate menu for future use (or tracking, at least), Botany Manor doesn't do that. Instead, it only saves info about what kind of clue it is (e.g. "Article on luminescence", "Elizabeth's letter") and the place you found it in, so if you need to take another look at a certain clue, you're going to have to run back to the room it's in instead of just being able to flip open a separate notebook. Still, this experience was wonderful; that's about the only thing holding it off from having been perfect.

Half-Life 2

HeartWare

0.6 hours
no achievements

Imagine playing the last scene of Doki Doki Literature Club!… but that's all there is to it. No story leading up to it, no emotional attachment, no weight. That's HeartWare. All you can get out of this is having a 2D girl you don't know a single thing about talk at you about how badly she wants to be real. The implications of what she says are weird too; why has she seen Rick and Morty, but not a single anime? How come she loves the Phoenix Wright series, but hasn't played Portal? She also references DDLC and Monika, because of course she does. At a certain point, the game accesses info about what device you're playing on, and even though I used the Deck, it said I'm on a PC; can the game not recognize the Deck or is the Deck not considered anything else than a portable computer? It also returned my current time as "20 PM", so it clearly can't account for 24-hour clocks. It's been 7 years since DDLC first came out, so I wish the dev of HeartWare a Happy Read-Another-VN-Please.

HeartWare is Verified on Steam Deck, which matches my experience as of 21/11/2024. Touchscreen or A to advance text, Menu or B (I forgot which…) should bring up the save menu. Right touchpad is active. All standard Ren'Py options are also available at the bottom of the screen.

Half-Life 2

Lilith Wants to Buy Your Soul

0.3 hours
no achievements

Lilith may be a demon, but her power level is considerably lower than those of her peers. Opening this game entails being open to the idea of selling your soul to her. There's just one problem… she's lost the memo on how much your soul is worth. To find out anew, she decides to ask you twenty questions ("like the kids' game") from the forms she found in her documents instead. After that's done, you get a certificate proving your soul's worth, which you can print out and boast about to people in real life.
For the record, my soul turned out to be worth as much as a gym membership, so about $77.
After announcing the result, Lilith does ask if you find the compensation worthy enough to exchange your soul for, and even though it's not that much money or even remotely useful to me personally, I liked Lilith enough that I couldn't say no to the transaction.
In spite of its simplicity (and perhaps because it's programmed to be played only once per device by default), this game was charming for what it was. Based on what Lilith says near the end, I hope there will be another game featuring her at some point in the future.

Lilith wants to buy your soul is Verified on Steam Deck, which matches my experience as of 28/11/2024. Touchscreen, A or R2 to advance text, R1 to rollback, View to skip, L2 or Menu to quit.

Half-Life 2

Lost Connections

0.6 hours
6 of 6 achievements

Los' mom just signed them up for a course designed to help boost self-esteem and confidence. They're convinced they feel comfortable being on their own and aren't willing to let people in due to past disappointments. The course period goes by in a flash and all they've retained is their interest in one of the other attendees, Hazel. Will they find the courage to talk to her before parting for good?
Thanks to this one, I can now officially say that I've played a VN made in Godot. While it's not a long game, I can only assume that this is about as far as the functionality of the engine goes when it comes to creating VNs, making it more akin to Unity than Ren'Py. The art is adorable and the BGM, albeit sparse, doesn't feel all that repetitive. I'm unclear on whether or not it would be possible to build in a regular skip function, but if not, the devs have found a way around this limitation.

Lost Connections is Playable on Steam Deck. Touchscreen, A, R2 or R3 to advance text, Menu to bring up the menu. Right touchpad is also active. A backlog is supposed to be available, but none of the inputs I tried seemed to bring it up.

Half-Life 2

Loving Life

1.2 hours
no achievements

Originally released in 2012 and now available on Steam, Loving Life is an autobiographical story written by Zhenghua ("Z") Yang, the founder of Serenity Forge, about his near-death experience back in 2008.
One day after class, he felt really tired and in spite of thinking about studying for the midterm next day, he went to sleep at 11 PM, which was unusual for him at the time. At 1 AM, he woke up to his nose bleeding. After taking some time to try (and fail) to stop it, Z decided to go to sleep, wake up whenever it was time to change the tissue, then go back to sleep again.
As one might imagine, that was not a good night's sleep and only around 3 PM, one of Z's friends decided to take him to the college medical center. The nosebleed had stopped only then, 14 hours after it first started (for the record, you should be worried if your nose is bleeding for more than 20 minutes, which I would not have known otherwise). His blood test results are worrying, but he's told to come in next morning. After a considerably better night, Z wakes up and records himself talking about his situation right before going in for the checkup.
At the doctor's office, he's told to go to the hospital immediately, so he does just that. Turns out his results are even worse than the college doctor thought, but Z's not even done answering all the questions before he gets another nosebleed and loses consciousness.
His condition is so bad, in fact, that a nurse comes by and gives him a will to sign. This causes him to ponder whether or not his life was good and how it contributed to the world, if it did at all, among other things.
This is where the story fades out into then-current times, with Z fully recovered and back in college, only with a different major this time around. Interestingly enough, he claims he really got better only after he stopped the experimentative treatments he was offered. At the very end, you get to watch the clip he recorded before going to his second checkup.
It's tough to judge this story, on account of it being based in reality; there's not really a place to discuss it being "better" or "more exciting". I would have really liked to read about Z's recovery from a state considered fatal by medical professionals, as I don't think it's as easy as "loving life and having it love you back". Then again, if that was too confusing or technical, I understand that it might not have made for good reading. The part that's meant to make you feel inspired to make changes in your own life is not too long or overly preachy, although the optics of Z saying that playing video games didn't make a positive impact on his life when he's since become the CEO of his own video game developing and publishing company are… hm.

Loving Life is Playable on Steam Deck, likely only because tapping the touchscreen makes a mouse cursor show up. Touchscreen, A, R2 or R3 to advance text and L2 or Menu to bring up the menu.

Half-Life 2

Max Massacre

1.6 hours
5 of 5 achievements

In a world where the human race is on the decline due to becoming prey for monsters and demons, Max and Celeste live together as roommates in a village where nobody really likes them.
During the day, Max is training himself in combat, aiming to one day measure up to all the other villagers, while Celeste is one of the few magic users in the village (and a damn good one at that), so she spends her time studying in the library. Every few days, they also have regular class together.
However, Max keeps getting bullied in combat training and Celeste feels her exceptional magic skills are being ignored in lieu of her teacher's seniority. Whenever they regroup after their individual studies, the mood is sour, with Celeste talking about her desire to destroy the whole village and not have to put up with that treatment anymore.
At night, Max starts having spicy dreams about Celeste, but they make him feel wrong since he's had feelings for Celeste for a long time now.
Will these dreams get more daring or stop entirely? And will Max and Celeste find a way to gain the villagers' respect, or will they end up bringing the whole village down?
I found this one… just mediocre. I've played a few VNs with character designs from the same artist and so far, I liked none of them, so I suppose it tracks. Their style is very clean, however, to the point that it's hard to believe these characters are what the writing claims they are. You're telling me pretty privilege doesn't exist in that village?
I did like the inclusion of more rare technical options, such as the choice of input prompts or the option to save on quit (as seen in Humanity Must Perish, from the same dev).

Max Massacre is Verified on Steam Deck, matching my experience as of 27/11/2024. Touchscreen, A, L2 (?) or R2 to advance text, B or Menu to bring up the save menu, L1 or View to rollback, R1 to undo rollback (not to be confused with advancing text), Y to hide textbox.

Half-Life 2

Plants Huddled Together

1.6 hours
12 of 12 achievements

A seemingly simple puzzle game about putting together various flowers, which gets pretty hard as time goes on. It's absolutely beautiful and I can't believe Steam has kept it secret from me until now.

Half-Life 2

School For The Friendless

3.0 hours
16 of 16 achievements

The unnamed (according to the store description, his name is supposed to be Harold, but it doesn't seem to function as the default) protagonist has never had any friends, so his parents helped him enroll at a college designed specifically for people like him. Before he can even get to the opening assembly, he meets three rather eccentric girls: Scout, Vivian and Anima. (Why does only one of them have an actual name? Your guess is as good as mine.)
At the assembly, it is explained that based on a simple questionnaire they're about to fill out and the way they behave throughout the first day of class, people are going to be paired up to share dorm rooms. The questionnaire includes a few questions that are simple yet don't seem to relate to each other at all; for example, I'm not sure how to feel about the fact that you can answer the gender question with "female" or "other" despite knowing that MC is male and it actively influences which girl's route you'll get on. If your answers don't match up with the girls and you say too much weird stuff on your first day, MC will be paired up with a guy he remembers from high school and it's assumed that they don't end up bonding at all, so you get a bad end.
Otherwise, the plot between the routes is identical; it's more the case of the girl of choice fitting into it. Comedy scene at the cafeteria here, working on a school project there and before you realize, the game is over. If you don't bond with the girl at all, you also get a bad end; those are completely unprompted and too much for what the rest of the game is like.
No shade towards Vivian and Anima; compelling as their backstories are, Scout was easily my favorite. At first, she looked like the mature one, of sorts, but soon enough, it turned out that she's actually very gullible, obsessed with ghost hunting and a comically big eater. Her ghost hunting obsession in particular feels very neurodivergent-coded and I wish I could hug her.
As for the technical side of things: the UI is mostly basic, although the text being aligned to the middle was a nice touch… whenever the dev didn't forget to do it, that is. There were a bit more grammar mistakes than I'd expect to see from someone who I can only assume is a native English speaker. The sprite art looks rather basic, but I learned afterwards it's because it was royalty-free and therefore not commissioned for this game specifically. I really liked the photographic backgrounds in this one and I don't know why. Royalty-free character art and photographic backgrounds instead of background art mean there's no CGs in the game, which is a shame.
However, one thing that School for the Friendless did right - unlike most VNs I've played this month - is the BGM variety. Despite the game taking only about 3 hours to fully complete, almost every time the scene changes, a different track comes on, so even if I've already been through the same even on another route, it made me feel like something completely new was going to happen. I wonder if the dev has a particular interest in music or simply found looking for all those tracks enjoyable.
I've seen the negative reviews for this game saying that the humor is cringy and bad, but surprisingly enough, I liked it. I'm not a fan of being a pervert for the sake of it (which made Vivian rather unlikeable in my eyes), but as long as the guy doesn't blindly go along with all the lewd jokes or advances that a girl is making, I find it much more bearable. That, and in spite of the sense of humor clearly taking inspiration from anime, this game isn't trying to pretend like it's set in Japan, which is extremely cringy if done poorly. By all accounts, it was a mediocre game that wasn't nearly as bad as people think, in my opinion. I'll forget it soon enough, but I don't feel like I wasted my time playing it.

School for the Friendless is Playable on Steam Deck. Touchscreen, A or R2 to advance text, R1 to rollback, L1 to undo rollback, L2 or Menu to bring up save menu, View to skip, left stick left to open accessibility options, left stick down to take screenshots. Right touchpad active; right stick also acts as a mouse.

Half-Life 2

Sunflower Pie

1.0 hours
4 of 4 achievements

Quite a peculiar prologue to Siren's Call: Escape Velocity, Sunflower Pie is a nightmare about Oliver's bleak family situation. Considering that the premise of Siren's Call: Escape Velocity is "escaping Florida", I'd say Sunflower Pie felt like a good enough setup that made me want to learn more. That being said, it's hard to say anything more about this… maybe except the fact that the very obviously anime-styled sprites under the object heads looked a bit funny. I don't think I find object heads all that scary unless the objects themselves are meant to appear grotesque. The moment the nightmare transforms into reality is nice, but I guess that's not a particularly grand observation. Two of the characters are said to have disabilities, so I'm definitely interested in seeing more of how they are portrayed. I think despite being able to relate at some base level, the narrative of Oliver's mom being abusive towards him getting toned down/nullified as soon as the nightmare ends seems kind of… weird? I assume it's one of those things that the full game will explain/straighten out.

Sunflower Pie is Playable on Steam Deck. Touchscreen, A or R2 to advance text. Right touchpad is also active. Watch out for Menu, as it's mapped to the Esc key and the game has no save system.

Half-Life 2

Superstorm Melon Date

1.8 hours
no achievements

In an alternate universe with a touch of sci-fi, the world is continuously tormented by superstorms. They show up every few months and destroy everything in their path, forcing people to hide in their shelters, sometimes for weeks at a time. There's never enough time to fix everything before the next storm, so repairs are an eternal money sink. It's become far too expensive to even have human children, so as a cheaper alternative, people have genetically engineered half-human, half-melon hybrids (referred to as simply "melos") to adopt as children.
Enter Y/N, a human who's ready to experience the outside world again, now that a superstorm has just ended. The first thing that comes to mind is going on a date, and sure enough, they create a profile and find a match - a melo named Melonais (call them Mel, for short).
Your job is to help Y/N navigate their first date with Mel. Every branch has two options to choose from and most (if not all of them) contribute to an overall rating; they can be either friendly or flirtatious.
Based on the ratio of friendly to flirtatious answers you have chosen throughout the date, you'll get one of the five possible endings. I did my best to stick to round values (0%/25%/50%/75%/100%), but according to the dev's comment, the requirements are a bit more relaxed.
I'm glad it was that easy to get all the endings, but not sure it was worth it in the end. All the endings have some positive note to them, but they all present the same way: one and the same image with second-person narration over it. I would have liked to see separate visuals, maybe even different BGM for the endings, so that it feels like discovering something new.
I think the worldbuilding was more interesting than the date, in the end. What is up with the superstorms? Why melons? How long has all of this been going for? I'd really like to see a bigger, more fleshed out story about the superstorm melon dystopia next.

Superstorm Melon Date is Playable, probably because it's missing half of the basic features provided by the Ren'Py engine, not to mention mapping them to controls on the Deck. Touchscreen, A or R2 to advance text, Y to hide textbox, Menu to bring up save menu.

Half-Life 2

this was for you.

0.9 hours
no achievements

A short story about an unnamed protagonist (Y/N, if you will) grieving after the loss of their online friend to an accident. They first met when Y/N decided to check out a certain VR game, but didn't mean to stick around after their trial was up. Then, Ji-min approached them and helped them with learning the basics. Eventually, they've both created a world to hang out in together… and the rest is history.
Y/N notes that Ji-min's influence on them was largely positive, save for the fact that they royally messed up their sleep schedule just so they could talk to her more. And now that she's gone, Y/N doesn't care to go back to their regular life. Their parents, real-life friends, their boss, they're all reaching out, hoping to get some sort of sign about Y/N, but they're ignoring all calls and emails, instead opting to lay on their bed, staring up at the ceiling as time passes idly by. Every once in a while, they log into the VR world they shared with Ji-min, only to encounter CH35H1R3, a seemingly brand new bot, made by VirtueTech to annoy new players… or is she?
This was originally written for NaNoRenO, so like with most other VN event submissions, expectations should be kept low. I liked the visual contrast between the dull browns and greys of the real world and the explosion of bright colors in the VR world (including, but not limited to, CH35H1R3's absolutely garish design) and the fact that, in spite of its duration, it features voice acting.
The one part I don't get is the choice at the very ending: as the last thing they do before moving on, should Y/N keep Ji-min's last voice mail or delete it? No matter what you choose, the credits pop in so quickly that there's no way to sit with the choice or even just the fact that the game is over. If you choose to keep it, it will play again after the credits, which I suppose is a nice bookend, considering the game also starts with Y/N listening to it, but it felt oddly weightless to me. I think it's only normal to keep a memento tied to someone who's passed away if they meant a lot to you, so the idea of deleting Ji-min's voicemail is just weird to me. If it were a material thing, you could at least look for something similar in the future if you find it still matters to you, but you can't retrieve immaterial things after they're gone…

this was for you. is Playable on Steam Deck because you need to bring up the keyboard to input your name at the start. If your keyboard placement of choice is at the bottom, keep in mind that it will obscure the input completely. I misspelled my name and couldn't fix it afterwards. Touchscreen, A, R1, R2 or R3 to advance text, L1 or Menu to bring up the save menu, L2 to rollback (I may have remembered L1/2 the other way around) and View to skip text.

Half-Life 2

Without a Voice

3.3 hours
10 of 10 achievements

I can only assume this dark fantasy yuri about Cassidy, the exiled princess of the Veromere family, now living alone in a forest and Elowen, the mysterious stranger who suddenly appears in her life, had been on my wishlist for years at this point, considering it first released on Steam back in 2020. What deserves continuous praise, however, is just how much care this game has been given ever since it first came to life. It had two demo versions (in 2016 and 2018), then a full, unvoiced release on Steam in 2020, and then a full voice acting update, released this April. Personally, I'm utterly in love with the UI design; everything just looks so nice and clean. From a gameplay standpoint, Cassidy and Elowen both having their own textbox design is a great touch; not to mention that the previous speaker's last words stay on screen as their textbox becomes more opaque. From a technical standpoint, despite the game never coming out on consoles as of now, it lets you choose which button style prompts you want to see if you're playing with a controller. Besides a CG gallery and a music room, there is also an unlockable short story, an achievement menu and most importantly, a completion tracker, which is something that's hardly ever seen in VNs (at least to my recollection) and to me, at least, implies a deeper degree of investment on the devs' part. I closed the game after having seen about 97.5% of all text, I believe? By that time, I had already gotten all the available endings twice over and I couldn't imagine what other combination of choices could lead to new textboxes… but to be fair, at that point, it's all just flavor text. Oh yeah, there's a whopping total of eight (!) endings you can get. I realize I'm not talking about the story at all, but I'm really just too shocked by how much care has been put into all the other aspects (not to say that the story isn't good). Girls' love stories aren't something I'd usually read, but this one was really good. If a fantasy story about girls falling in love with each other, with just a twinge of horror sounds like something you'd be interested in, you can't miss out on this one. Just know that even if you end up loving it, you're never going to love it more than the devs.

Without a Voice is Verified on Steam Deck, which matches my experience as of 20/11/2024. It's got to be the best mapped control scheme for a VN on the Deck I've seen yet. (You'd think it had a console release already!) Touchscreen or A to advance text, X to toggle auto mode, B to hide textbox, L1 to rollback, R1 to skip, Menu to open menu. A control guide is also available within the game.

See you next month! :)

Progress report: November ‘24 (1/2)

For this month, I’ve come up with a gaming challenge for myself (you might be able to guess what it is by some of my assassinations), which is why there are going to be two separate posts…

…or, well, at least I thought it was going to fit within November at first, but then things got busy. Most excitingly, I went to see a musical live on Sunday (the 10th)! It was the second musical I’ve ever seen live, but the first one I knew beforehand, so I was convinced I wanted to remember it for as long as I can. I felt so energized and ready to go… and before I noticed, another week has passed. ^^;;

Here’s what I’ve been up to in the first half of November:

Half-Life 2

A Few Days With Violette

0.2 hours
7 of 7 achievements

This is like the 100 hidden… series had a baby with a bottom-of-the-barrel, porn without plot game. Everything works really smooth, but it's hilarious how perfectly the shortcomings of AI art are displayed thanks to the zoom. The scenes are already blurry enough from the get-go, but after zooming in… you might as well have had a preschooler draw you a scene and it would have looked less blurry. And Violette… oh, Violette… it is so painfully obvious she has no personality of her own. You just know it was some sad, sad man, sitting in his bedroom, wearing a crusty pair of underpants, writing all the things she would say (complete with the winking faces, no less). And why is she so obsessed with butterflies of all things, anyway? Ladies, can you feel yourselves getting hot and bothered at the thought of your partner fervently collecting butterflies to impress you? Show of hands! …if it wasn't November, I suppose I'd go practice in my Animal Crossing village.

Half-Life 2

A Night With: Bartender

0.6 hours
no achievements

The length of this one makes the bold and daring personality of the girl marginally more believable than the other one, even if it is still very much purely in service of the player. She doesn't even look like herself in one of the CGs; par for the course with AI art. I only missed the "bored" ending, but after almost 40 minutes of playing, I couldn't be bothered to figure it out.

Half-Life 2

BLACK BOX LSS - The Shining Immortal

1.6 hours
17 of 17 achievements

Truth be told, this one is just very confusing. In an hour to an hour and a half, the story that unravels is so jam-packed, it's hard to tell which aspect is most important or what conclusion there is to be drawn, if there is any in the first place. I want to say that the safest bet seems to be reserving your judgment until the sequel (main game?) comes out and helps the story find its footing. Oddly enough, despite this one being F2P, the store page for the second game is already assuring potential buyers that they need not worry about playing it if they don't care to, which seems confusing and counterintuitive.

BLACK BOX LSS - The Shining Immortal is Playable on Steam Deck, possibly because touching the screen brings up a mouse cursor, so it's likely not far off from becoming Verified. Touchscreen or A to advance text; all options are contained within the on-screen UI, so X, Y and B don't seem to do anything.

Half-Life 2

Cats Hidden in Paris

0.2 hours
101 of 101 achievements

Nihil novi… maybe except the fact that the GOG achievement pop-up style doesn't really lend itself to achievement spam games.

Half-Life 2

Coloring Game 5

21.2 hours
40 of 40 achievements

It's finally out! …and I quickly remembered that I did not miss these games much. It got paid DLC content on day one and I genuinely hope there will be no more… even though I already know I'm gonna pay if there ever will be.

Half-Life 2

Hentai Chicks

0.2 hours
100 of 100 achievements

"A classic puzzle game designed to have fun. Open drawings by solving puzzles to relaxing music." says the store page for this game. Right away, I think my and the dev's ideas of "relaxing music" are vastly different from each other. And as far as the design goes, even in spite of its simplicity, the game manages to be broken. At the last few images, I encountered a bug where after solving a puzzle, I couldn't go to the next one right away or if I did, one of the pieces would glitch out and disappear permanently, making the puzzle unsolvable. In both cases, I had to go back to the main menu and reset the puzzle from there… except the new one would still show up as locked and I'd have to redo the previous one. In one instance, a puzzle even registered as solved with two pieces being out of place. Don't think I need to say this when talking about a "hentai" game of all things, but do not get this, even as a joke. It's just a bad game with bad music and a random mix of images of unknown origins.

Half-Life 2

Humanity Must Perish

1.6 hours
8 of 8 achievements

In a world where every supercomputer has, without fault, concluded that to save planet Earth, humanity is doomed to perish, the last professor willing to continue his work builds Kyuu, the ninth (and last) attempt at an android that will hopefully see a way for mankind and the Earth to coexist peacefully. Kyuu turns out to be more clever than her eight predecessors and finds a way to pass the same judgment in less direct terms. With renewed hope, the professor overrides Kyuu's ultimate directive and convinces her to spend one day outside of the lab, interacting with humans and gathering new data. At the end of the day, will Kyuu be convinced that humans can find a way to save the Earth, or will she still think that humanity must perish?
This is, in fact, the one and only choice you get right at the end of the story. I read a review of this game that recalled the initial judgment explicitly stating that if humanity cannot perish, it must be enslaved and expressed disappointment at the fact that there was no choice to enslave mankind at the end of the story, which I have to agree with; I feel like that could have been another, longer and possibly more dramatic branch than outright eradication. That being said, experiencing a world of utterly human randomness from Kyuu's POV was fun, considering she's written very much like a robot, but still has a sense of humor about it (and yes, that is pointed out multiple times by the game itself.)
A great touch for this one is the glossary for tech-related terms, which you can toggle ON or OFF depending on your preferences. A "save on quit" option is also available, though the game is so short you likely won't be needing it, just like I didn't. I think I missed the part of the intro that explained why scientists are so busy with building androids that keep telling them humanity is doomed, but in the end I can't complain, I love stories about androids.

Humanity Must Perish is Verified on Steam Deck, which matches my experience as of 15/11/2024. Use the touchscreen or press A to advance text, press Y to hide textbox.

Half-Life 2

Kovox Pitch

1.8 hours
8 of 8 achievements

I said I'd get to this one after completing Lo-Fi Ping Pong, and I'm glad I did. I much prefer lo-fi music over exclusively Russian post-punk, but the gameplay of Kovox Pitch makes more sense from a thematic standpoint. Your older brother has been away for a while, and when he comes back, your mom convinces him to go out and spend time with you… and off you two go, with a radio, your trusty scooters, and the ever-so-creative invention of baseball launchers that can be synchronized to any and all music. The very beginning was a piece of cake, but eventually, the third song of the third location started giving me a hard time, so I had to stop playing. (Possibly also because some songs are so fast that focusing on the inputs made me feel like I was losing vision…) But boy, am I glad I did! Only after that does the game starts throwing new things at you, level by level; still, it feels awesome to pull off. One song was so fast I had to drop the graphic settings! The levels are all broken up by short segments where your older brother talks about his past, both at home and when he was away. I assume the VA had to be someone who had a natural Russian accent, but it was tough listening to the guy; he sounded like trying to get his lines out took a lot out of him. There is also a level editor in this one, but just like with Lo-Fi Ping Pong, I don't care to check it out, so I can't speak for it one way or another.

Half-Life 2

Little Man Has a Day

0.4 hours
8 of 8 achievements

A small adventure game where nothing "of note" really happens; all you gotta do is help Little Man go through a day that makes him feel a little 'eh' and remember that in the end, it's okay to feel 'eh' sometimes. Recommended only if you don't care that it doesn't have some deep, hidden meaning.

Half-Life 2

McPixel 3 GAME
PASS

9.1 hours
93 of 93 achievements

This is the exact kind of game you're likely to enjoy if you loved The Henry Stickmin Collection, as the gameplay is identical: get put in a ridiculous situation, then toy around to try and find the right way out of it. While THSC grew into a sensical storyline, however, McPixel is more of a chaotic, "lol random" romp. It also foregoes a variety of multimedia references in favor of retro game homages; Sos Sosowski's love for retro games is undeniable. The levels are spread out across a walkable map, which becomes a level of its own in the climax. Levels vary in length, but there's one constant: they won't let you go unless you win all scenarios and truly save the day. For the most part, this is rather easy, but if you get stuck, don't feel bad about consulting a guide; the limited soundtrack is okay for the most part, but it can quickly turn grating when you're struggling to figure out your next move. There's already a replay of this one waiting for me in the future, and I guess I should probably buy the first game at some point. I wonder if McPixel 2 is ever going to come out…

Half-Life 2

Memory Quickie

0.6 hours
9 of 9 achievements

Just because it's a quickie doesn't mean it can't be enjoyable. This dev, however, doesn't seem to think so, as the Hard and Extreme difficulty keep you flailing around as you uncover tiles and lose points for every wrong try. If you run out of time, the board (and your score) reset. It's okay for a free game not to be easy, but despite what it looks like, flipping tiles at light speed and occasionally finding a match in the process doesn't make me feel like a savant. Only recommended if you know you have enough patience for things like this. (Definitely download the free "Fruits & Vegetables" DLC to make it easier on yourself.)

Half-Life 2

Reborn A Zombie!

2.0 hours
12 of 12 achievements

In spite of this alternate universe allowing some magical creatures to coexist with humans, one human is having a particularly tough time without any magical interference. Dawn has recently realized she's transgender and she can't wait to tell the world about it. Sadly, most of her surroundings (including, but not limited to, her parents) are not readily accepting of this fact. Luckily, Dawn has just made a new friend; a mysterious succubus named Lucia. Two years later, Dawn is comfortable with her appearance, but not so much with her body; this gives Lucia the idea to utilize alchemy as a faster alternative to surgery and therapy, and here's where the story truly begins.
I can not recommend this VN enough. It has been years since I've enjoyed a VN this much, especially one as short as Reborn A Zombie!. Every aspect of the visual presentation is utterly gorgeous from start to finish and the story is all about girls loving girls (as friends, but possibly also as girlfriends, in the future…?) Despite the harsh reality of things like these happening in real life, I'm glad not a lot of time is dedicated to people who don't accept and/or mistreat Dawn, not to mention that there is no violence or targeted language at play. Besides the zombie thing, I think it's more than enough that Dawn has to listen to her inside, deadname voice as it tries to make her feel bad about her choices. I do also notice the obvious parallel between Dawn's conscious, informed choice to transition and the accidental fate that led her to become a zombie; it feels like there's something to be said there, but I just lack the words to say it. Personally, I was also interested in Lucia's asexuality and how that is presented in the story; as a relatively fresh ace with low confidence I would gladly devour an extensive subplot about Lucia discovering herself and learning to be comfortable with her needs, so I feel like this was barely mentioned (the word "asexual" is never uttered, to my recollection); then again, this was meant to be Dawn's story and a sequel is already in the works, so I'm excited!
If you've had this on your wishlist, play it! If you didn't, play it! If you're LGBTQ+, play it! If you're an ally, play it! I'm simply overwhelmed at how easily I could have completely missed out on this one if I hadn't decided to pay attention to free games on my wishlist.

Reborn A Zombie! is Playable on Steam Deck, possibly because touching the screen brings up a mouse cursor; I feel like it's well on its way to becoming Verified.
Touchscreen or A to advance text, X to toggle auto mode, Y to hide textbox, B to force skip, R1 to bring up backlog (conflicts with default screenshot shortcut.)

Half-Life 2

Where Dragon Spirits 龙魂在哪里

0.1 hours
73 of 73 achievements

This one's got a pretty bumpin' BGM, though it stays the same after you complete the game. Hints take time to recharge, like in normal HOGs.

Half-Life 2

Zarie: The Story of Sin

0.8 hours
no achievements

I feel weirdly lied to. I was genuinely expecting a story of a journey in which Zarie guides you through the afterlife to help you attend your final trial, with a bittersweet goodbye after you reach a point where she has to give you over to Enma's minions, as she herself alluded to it… but then it all just ended with a dumb, DDLC-esque twist. I don't even really know you! Oh well.

Zarie: The Story of Sin is Verified on Steam Deck, which matches my experience as of 14/11/2024. Use the touchscreen or the right touchpad to advance text; pressing A hides the textbox. (I also seem to remember R1 brings up the backlog, which conflicts with the screenshot shortcut.)

See you in two weeks! :)

Progress report: October ‘24 (a.k.a. I Survived!)

Not so hot on the game front (I played less than last year and didn’t get to any of the longer games I was itching to start… again), but I challenged myself to watch a horror movie every day… and I succeeded! Turns out even live action horror isn’t all that scary, if you know where to look!

This month’s (mostly) SPOOKY assasinations are:

Half-Life 2

100 Aliens Cats

0.0 hours
100 of 100 achievements

Y'all thought we were saving the cats by finding them, but they actually explode into confetti after you click on them. Also, these cats have crazy, sci-fi adjacent names. Imagine naming your real life cat "Ravager" or "Sentinel."

Half-Life 2

A Night With: Spirit

0.2 hours
no achievements

Basically an owlyboi kind of game without the futanari/femboy kink. Between the AI-generated CG art and the spirit in question having no real personality of her own, everything about this one is one big skip. Ran incredibly poorly in the menus, too, for some reason.

Half-Life 2

Amanda the Adventurer

1.8 hours
19 of 19 achievements

I first watched a playthrough of this game a few months ago and was hooked on the creepy atmosphere with none of the ever-present time-limited or survival-adjacent sequences, so when my friend Saku had a key on hand, I knew I wanted to play it for myself. VHS was already a dying medium by the time I was born, but my grandma still had a player and a sizable collection of tapes, so this was a relatable enough premise (even if obscure local TV channels like the one Amanda would air on aren't a thing to begin with over here). This is a rather simple puzzle game that has you interact with various episodes of the show to progress. My opinion is unfairly biased, because I did use a guide while playing, but I don't agree that all or most puzzles in the whole game are obtuse; just about every solution that comes to mind is featured somewhere within the relevant tape. Sadly, this game seems to be considered by some as "YouTuber bait", as it is just a step away from being merely "Chapter 1" or "Episode 1" rather than a standalone, considering how little information there is to digest regarding the lore. The sequel came out a little over a week ago (a year and a half after the first game), so I may reserve my judgment for when, if ever, I play that (and the inevitable further sequels).

Half-Life 2

Blood Orange

1.9 hours
no achievements

This short adventure game has an absolutely gorgeous pixel art style and a great atmospheric soundtrack; it's hard to believe that it was originally made in just one month for a game jam. The story element, however, feels rather obscure - while some of it is right there and obvious enough, the rest is (to me at least) just kind of confusing. Recommended only if you don't suffer from thalassophobia.

Half-Life 2

Bloody Painter Dating Sim

0.8 hours
no achievements

As per the store page, this is just a spin-off story, released to celebrate the tenth anniversary of the Bloody Painter franchise (?), which I don't know at all, so forgive me if I've missed anything. You play as a nameless girl, who wakes up in a mysterious room underground. You have been kidnapped by a mysterious, mask-wearing man and soon enough, you learn from him that you have to behave for at least seven days if you don't want your corpse to be left to rot after he kills you. It's a rather simple horror VN with a twist: if you make all the right choices, you'll get the guy to warm up to you ever so slightly, which is the prerequisite for all the good endings. You can't die later than on day three, which I found a tad disappointing; I love horror VNs that go crazy with it and let you die at pretty much every opportunity, but here this was underutilized and almost all deaths were identical. The character art is solid, same for the backgrounds. The music is generic, royalty-free stuff. The translation is okay (but still, bonus points for misspelling "hungry" as "hungary", I never thought I'd encounter that out in the wild). Interestingly enough, Bloody Painter is fully voiced, though only in English. Unexpected, considering it's a Chinese franchise? I'm not big on serial killers and other openly dangerous character types as love interests, but I don't mind a creepy rendezvous like this once in a while. If you played this one already, you might be able to guess that my favorite ending was the one where two years after making her escape, MC starts receiving roses from Bloody Painter every Halloween.

Half-Life 2

Class Reunion Chat Room

0.4 hours
4 of 4 achievements

It was supposed to be another normal, boring night for Amy: come home from work, eat dinner, watch a movie or play some games until her friend Liv wakes up, chat with Liv, then go to sleep. However, she received a weird email from Blaise, whom she recognized as an old friend from school. Blaise claims to have sent out emails to all school friends, asking to join his new group chat and reconnect, hoping for a reunion in the near future. Soon enough, Amy will learn that the weirdest thing about the group chat isn't everyone being online after 2 AM…

This one has a simple setup and throws you right in. Amy's at her computer, listening to some chill, lo-fi-adjacent music and getting to know her new-old, old-new friends. Something I noticed people who reviewed the game didn't like was being forced to type out Amy's messages perfectly before they can be sent. At some point later, an option to have them typed out automatically was added. Personally, I didn't mind that one bit. In fact, that's the one thing I was really interested in; it's much more satisfying to type out an actual sentence than keysmash continuously for the message to show up, like in the Emily is Away series. That being said, Amy is quickly faced with an explanation for what's going on, and that's when the game quickly fizzles out. I noticed a review entertaining the thought that it would be more interesting if the people in the group chat were just regular people who lost their minds as opposed to ghosts that decided to target Amy in particular. This may have ended up much more chilling, especially because at least one of the three ghosts should have no desire to target Amy (she's currently lacking direction in her life and she doesn't seem to have any specific dreams). Still, this was more my speed than the other VNs I've played this month.

Half-Life 2

Firework GAME
PASS

3.9 hours
10 of 10 achievements

In this short horror puzzle game, you play as Lin Lixun, a newbie policeman who stumbles his way into a re-investigation of a peculiar murder case. I guess I could say that this gameplay style is easily one of my preferred for horror games specifically; exploring locations to piece clues together, interspersed with simple puzzles every once in a while. There was only one puzzle I couldn't figure out right away and I only solved it by chance. That being said, I think I was mostly out of it while playing, as it took me an embarrassing amount of time to associate the names with characters they belonged to. Because most of them don't have sprites, however, and are hardly shown otherwise anyway, I think it would be a good call if each speaker name had its own color, as opposed to the three or four colors being used at all times. I also made it worse for myself by pausing the game halfway and accidentally picking it back up a whole week after I initially started it. The first half is very loaded, the second one not so much. The translation is good, but every once in a while, some stilted or unnatural phrasing turns up, as it goes with Chinese to English translation. In the end, I wasn't really into it, but if you feel like a 2D sidescrolling horror puzzle game set in China with supernatural elements, feel free to try it. And because it's only about 3-4 hours long, do yourself a favor and set aside enough time to play it in one sitting.

Half-Life 2

Graveyard Girls

1.5 hours
3 of 3 achievements

It should have been a Halloween like any other, but ever since her father passed away four years ago, Elle has never been the same. Today, she tries talking to him for the first time and then, her fate brings her and a mysterious girl, Lucia, together. This was a wonderfully heartrending story of two strangers bonding over their grief, asking hard questions and giving painful answers. It's not overlong or preachy by any means, but if you happen to be coping with grief at the moment, you may want to wait until you feel comfortable reading. I hate to admit it, but I have recently been thinking about mortality to a degree that scares me, so I think this "fit the mood" somehow, so to speak. As per the credits, this story seems to have been inspired by real events and feelings of one of the devs, so I would like to thank them for putting such a vulnerable part of themselves out there. It's not often that a story acknowledges just how closed off we are from each other past the usual pleasantries without swaying too hard in the other direction and coming off entirely unrealistic.

Half-Life 2

Hentai Halloween

1.1 hours
40 of 40 achievements

What can I say? I noticed there was a Halloween-themed one and I bought it.

Half-Life 2

Hidden Capybaras with Orange and Pumpkins: Spooky Halloween Edition

0.4 hours
23 of 23 achievements

Already played one of these earlier in the month, but I figured there's no reason to keep it unplayed in my library until next year. This was big enough that it kept me looking. You can zoom in quite a lot, too. The capybaras are spread out enough and there's a few other things to find, which I also like. The BGM is a full on, upbeat, Halloween-esque track that doesn't loop every few seconds like the simple ditties this subgenre started out with.

Half-Life 2

Inversed

0.2 hours
1 of 1 achievements

Thanks to Inversed, for just 15 minutes, you too can assist a 19th century poet as she writes supposedly the most important work of her life. Although this VN was made for a jam with strict limitations, the main character is fully voiced, which I would never neglect to notice. The word choice minigame is likely not as robust as it seems on the surface, but that's not a big deal. The UI design is simply gorgeous. On its own, this didn't really wow me (been there, done that), but it's important to acknowledge that this is just a small part in a bigger puzzle ("The Purgatoryverse", a shared universe for all of Tymedust Games' works), which I suppose I've only just started piecing together.

Half-Life 2

It Paints Me

0.5 hours
3 of 3 achievements

This one did an okay job of setting up a dark and moody atmosphere. Half an hour wasn't enough to learn a substantial amount about the characters' circumstances, however, so it didn't do much for me.

Half-Life 2

Jake's Halloween Night

0.6 hours
no achievements

A simple RPGMaker game where you have to help Jake find all the pieces of his Halloween costume before he can go to the party. To get all three endings: 1) complete the outfit and leave, 2) complete the outfit, collect all candy and leave, 3) complete the outfit, collect all candy and unlock the trunk in the bedroom. Both the environment art and character art are great, but the game is far too short to be paid (and judging by some reviews, it used to be), so I'm glad to have found it after it was changed to F2P. The dev claimed Jake's story would continue, but it's almost been a year and it doesn't seem like anything is in the works. Oh well.

Half-Life 2

The Witch in the Forest

1 hours
4 of 4 achievements

A short kinetic novel about a witch who lives in the forest just outside a city (or was it a town?) and makes an unexpected friend. Inoffensive and rather bland. The choice between ADV and NVL-style presentation at the start was a nice touch, but I found myself wishing for more BGM variety.

Half-Life 2

Zen Paint

5.6 hours
12 of 12 achievements

Ever since I started playing Coloring Pixels, I've been hungry for more while they're busy working on new packs. I wanted to recommend this one, but even though it has its own aesthetic and a robust options menu, it's got to be running on spaghetti code. During every session, it would crash multiple times for unknown reasons (there was an info window for it, but it's not like I could have done anything to warrant the crash). The best I got was a suggestion from someone on the forum to turn off the particle effect, but in the end that was more of a placebo effect. To add insult to injury, if you barely started an image when the game crashed, it may not have saved at all. Some of the options wouldn't save either, I had to turn down the ambience SFX every time I opened the game up again. Play this one only if you're crazy for pixel coloring.

I can feel the horror-ween spirit escaping me… see you next month! :)

Progress report: September ‘24 (a.k.a. When Can I Play The Scary Games Again?)

Since Summer’s officially over and I had no plan for what I wanted to play (maybe besides a bunch of non-Steam indie VNs), I ended up spending a lot of time making progress that seems largely insignificant overall… and then I got Game Pass on a whim, so I managed to tie up some loose ends there.
I completed the Microsoft Solitaire Collection! When I first played it 8 years ago, I didn’t think I’d ever get serious about the achievements, but lo and behold: the first sign of me having far too much time on my hands! Still took almost a year of concentrated play, but now it’s done.
I beat the new DLC for A Little to the Left and then I felt compelled to play the seasonal levels as well. With that, I’ve officially 100%ed it after just over 30 hours (don’t ask how it took me this long, I don’t know either) and I hope it never comes back into my life for the sake of my sanity.
I also meant to pick Vampire Survivors back up, but after one good session I haven’t been able to launch it again. It keeps throwing an error about missing/damaged files and I have no idea what happened. For all I know, Xbox may well have deleted my save while trying to fix the game and yet it still doesn’t want to launch. Messed up.

Here’s the little I’ve gotten up to this month:

Half-Life 2

Dordogne GAME
PASS

10.9 hours
31 of 31 achievements

This is a cop-out "write-up", just here to show that I completed the game. I took five months from when I first started to getting the missable toilet achievement, so I don't remember the story well enough to comment on it anymore. If I replay the game at some point in the future, I'll talk more about it.
For now, I will say that every frame is a painting, but this would have worked so much better as a movie. Nearly all the interactivity in this game simply feels shoe-horned in.

Half-Life 2

Hidden Robo Cats

0.0 hours
100 of 100 achievements

Funny how the devs claim they reworked the free level to make it harder, considering it took me four minutes to complete. I guess their hands slipped on the keyboard.

Half-Life 2

Paw Patrol World GAME
PASS

4.0 hours
21 of 21 achievements

I've never played Paw Patrol: Grand Prix (and likely never will), but I think this might be the best Paw Patrol game yet. While in the end it is still repetitive, I cannot rightfully complain about it, as it is aimed at kids and therefore meant to be played in shorter sessions (or so I would assume.)
Ryder and the team are busy preparing for Paw Patrol Day when Mayor Humdinger shows up and starts being a nuisance. The story will take you through four open worlds based on locations seen in previous games (Barkingsburg being new to me), which is an improvement over randomly getting boxed into a location and forced to complete it perfectly. I collected all the pup treats I could find in each and every location due to force of habit, but in this game, for once, there is no need to do that. Once you've gathered a set amount of treats, you'll get a new unlockable and the progress bar will reset, but between the mission rewards and all the treats that are just laying around, there's enough for about a dozen more unlocks than there actually are.
Most notably, this may be the least broken Outright Games title I'm aware of yet; it ran flawlessly. (Okay, no, it did crash on me once, but I prefer to chalk it up to a freak accident and it did save right before the next objective, so it's all good.) Maybe they found a good studio to develop this one, maybe Nickelodeon insisted that it be good or maybe there just wasn't any crunch, who knows. I'm a low-spec player, but I bet it looks great if you can run it on a more capable device, too. I was positively surprised Xbox didn't force me to play in Polish as it did with previous games, even though the option is there.
I only have a few petty nitpicks:

  • The previous games have conditioned me to mash the action button when performing an action, but here, this yields a broken-sounding SFX. As it turns out, you're actually supposed to hold the action button until the bar fills up to hear the SFX properly… but who's got the time for that?
  • Citizen help requests refresh almost immediately after you complete them, instead of disappearing to indicate completion. If you weren't completing them as you went, have fun backtracking!
  • You can't move the camera while driving. I think the fact that you're only able to control your vehicle with the left stick is supposed to feel like playing a racing game? Maybe? I don't know, I don't play racing games. Either way, I'm not a fan. I'd like to see where I'm going and adjust accordingly instead of having to stop and turn before I can change direction.
  • Some of the things they do are just ridiculous. Since when can you repair anything with a jackhammer? A few tasks were easy enough that I'm convinced Ryder could have done them himself instead of making the team do them.

And a word of advice to anyone planning to play this in the future: do yourself a favor and toggle the option to auto-select characters on. With eight characters, each having their own vehicle, it gets annoying fast.

Half-Life 2

Rolling Hills: Make Sushi, Make Friends GAME
PASS

13.8 hours
12 of 12 achievements

I like subscribing to Game Pass, because it lets me play new games on release day, and Rolling Hills was one of those games. As Sushi Bot, you move into Rolling Hills and open your very own sushi place, which the locals hope will bring new life to the village… and it very quickly does! …you just don't see much of it. The tourists must just be coming over for sushi and leaving, 'cause there aren't that many of them standing around outside, not to mention there's no inn or any other place to stay in.
Randos aside, there's a cast of specific characters, such as the mayor and the local shopkeeper, but also multiple new additions as the story progresses. Some of them provide some kind of service (at the grocery store, the furniture store, the cafe), but besides that, they're all terribly forgettable (when put together, the new residents are an extremely random bunch of people, too.) Still, you can treat them to coffee or a meal to level up your friendship for bonuses, which would be a great mechanic if the characters were more than their signature traits.
As for the main part of the gameplay, it's a Diner Dash-adjacent restaurant management deal, except you don't have to worry about finding the right table for everyone. Instead, you need to match the type of the dish (vegetable, fish, meat, dessert - not actual in-game names) and its numeric value (quality, I believe?) to what each customer wants (for a perfect rating, both variables have to match - it doesn't work like UNO).
This could have been fun if Sushi Bot wasn't so dummy thicc. It's a struggle to even point at the dish you want to pick up, sometimes. This also extends to serving the dishes; I've given the dish I was holding to the customer on the wrong side of the table more times than I can count. A dash is available, but it's very limited and has a cooldown, and I couldn't explain why it's not permanent if I tried. That only meant I was using the time freeze mechanic much more often.
While in Diner Dash, customers annoyed by businessmen yapping on their phones would eventually get frustrated and leave (a punishment for poor seating choices, or just for being too slow), customers in Rolling Hills don't seem to care as much, even though they are visibly annoyed. Instead, a customer might fall asleep at the table, and if you don't wake them up in time, they'll wake up on their own and leave with a smile before ordering any more dishes. Okay? Your loss, I guess?
At the end of the day, your progress is summed up and you can watch a replay of how much XP you got throughout the day. Earning both XP and money quickly becomes a slow process, but you can speed it up somewhat by furnishing your restaurant with the right kinds of furniture. I may have liked this more if there was any kind of floor grid to help with placing decor symmetrically. As it is, you can't actually do that and not for a lack of trying; for some reason, I just couldn't put two of the same item next to or against each other and have it line up perfectly.
You'll also have to level recipes up by adding matching ingredients to them. Maybe this was just a side effect of the order in which I leveled up my recipes, but in the late game, the lack of new veggie recipes was clear as day. Being forced to serve rainbow (universal) recipes instead just feels like a cop-out. If you level up your friendship with the shopkeeper, you'll get the option to restock the store for a set price, for as long as you can afford it. I looked at negative reviews a few times while I was playing the game and one complaint was a lack of a button to buy out the store all at once. I don't know if that's hard to implement or not, but after an update, there is now an option to skip the confirmation for buying each and every product, as well as a new way to level up recipes (whereas originally you could only use ingredients one by one, now, if you mouse over a recipe and you own enough fitting ingredients, you can choose to level it up from there.) This… is an okay alternative, I guess? (Imagine me shaking my head vehemently right after saying that.)
There are also daily challenges to provide a sort of baseline for the day - spend a thousand coins, talk to three characters, wake up a sleeping customer, etc. These are rewarded with a set amount of points, which you can then redeem for recipes and hats. Yes, hats. There's an absolutely crazy amount of hats Sushi Bot can wear, if only you so please. That being said, the further you progress, the easier these are to complete without even keeping track, and so you'll rack up the points, but have nothing to spend them on (I must have had a little over a thousand by the end; if I'm not mistaken, the sole most expensive item costs 250 points), which is just unfortunate. Besides buying recipes with challenge points and getting them as the restaurant levels up, you can also buy a few from the traveling sushi chef, who only shows up on Sundays (Animal Crossing, anyone?), which feels off, considering there is no other measure of time besides that.
After you finish the story, there are still five more recipes to unlock, so you have to get your restaurant up to level 20. I'm really glad I stopped there until the game was updated: now, you can play special challenge services, and if you do well, these yield a lot more XP in a much shorter time than the usual slog at the regular restaurant. I can't deny that these are creative, but some of the ideas - huge Sushi Bot vs tiny customers, underwater level, an impossible maze - make me feel like the devs genuinely don't know what's a bug and what's a feature. But hey, besides the XP, you can also get a different skin or a new horn sound for Sushi Bot! That's something, right?
All in all, I'm glad to finally be done with this game. The art style is to die for and I've been craving a time management game similar to Diner Dash, but everything else about this one falls so flat, it's insane. Maybe the devs should take writing and/or game design classes next time, I don't know. And make your next game shorter, while you're at it.

See you next month! :)

Progress report: August ‘24 (a.k.a. Blessing my Steam Deck!)

I told myself I’d commit, and I did! I played my first proper game on my brand new Steam Deck! Yippee-ki-yay!

I thought I was surely going to be done with it in the estimated ~70 hours, but alas, there’s content sprinkled all around some later parts, so I couldn’t complete it if I tried. Still, it’s a mindblowing amount of hours that I’ve never before put into a single game in such quick succession, and I don’t know that I want to do it ever again! :D I absolutely love the Deck, though, and I’m happy to play more different games on it from now on.

Half-Life 2

100 Asian Cats

0.1 hours
100 of 100 achievements

The BGM in this one is just too intense, especially considering how short the loop is.

Half-Life 2

Wylde Flowers

75.6 hours
31 of 40 achievements

I first got the chance to try this one out during the June 2022 Next Fest (cough the one that gave you badges cough) and fell in love with it right away. Well… after about 70 hours of playing it on my Deck (as a formal welcome), I don't know that I enjoy it as much anymore. First and foremost, a big plus of the game is that it has a dedicated protagonist as opposed to a customizable one. The plot allows for little to no player input on Tara's feelings (so little, in fact, that I ended up accidentally clicking through the choices that did come up about 75% of the time), but on the flipside, after each major event, every character on the island will have something relevant to say. If the other reality was having to read things like "Nice weather today, right, [Player]?" and "I felt so good today, I cleaned all around the house!" over and over again, what we got is definitely better. Add to that the game having full voice acting for all the characters and I'm sold. Another praise-worthy aspect is the diversity. It's not my place to speak about characters of color, but I am pleasantly surprised that the white characters aren't all American by default. This also somewhat relates to everyone's favorite foods; none of them are shared between characters and just about everyone seems to have positive memories tied to their favorites, which is great when considering the length of the recipe list. I feel like if the devs wanted to, they could work even more unique conversations about everyone's origins into the game with enough time. It's nice to have a nonbinary character, too, and I think it would be even more interesting if there was a bachelor(ette) who's openly asexual. The main story lasts for a year in-game; I just completed it and started my second Spring. There's a good enough balance of quests: if nothing is happening in town or you've just completed a major event, chances are there will be something new to do at the coven, but there are also more casual quests, which you can get by just talking to some of the characters. Still, these are tied to the current season and there are only a handful of them sprinkled in throughout. In general, the first half of the year is chock-full of new and shiny things, but as everything progresses, there's less and less stuff to do and everything slows down, or so I've felt. Initially, turning the seasons is stressful when it feels like you haven't grown enough produce, but near the end of the year, you unlock the ability to build (then expand) a greenhouse… but by that point, I've long since forgotten about that stress and if it weren't for tasks related to growing flowers, I think I would have almost found it useless. Also, as realistic, lively and varied all the characters are, when they start repeating themselves and wishing the season was already over, you know you gotta turn the season. Still, I feel like it's a good thing that you can choose not to progress until all your plants have grown, so you don't end up losing time and money. Speaking of which, the economy in this game is absolutely terrible. People have found a way to exploit the game by fishing, then cooking and selling fish sticks, to the point that there is a separate option in the settings to "embargo fish sticks". Yeah, someone decided that would be better than making the prices make sense. Initially, I found it kind of fun that some of the stores require a certain amount of items to be sold to them before their whole stock is unlocked, but Bruno's store took so much time and so many fish, it's not even funny. And on top of that, most fish are worth virtually nothing! I guess I see the appeal of continuously making fish sticks, but I didn't enjoy fishing at all, so I chose an alternative route. At a certain point, the mine right near Tara's farm is unlocked, and it's got 20 whole levels of mining goodness. I enjoyed mining right away, even if the energy bar is rather short at the very start (judging from negative reviews, this is what made a lot of people quit the game, which is sad; at the same time, though, I realize I can't just say "no, no, it gets better after 30 hours!") and there is an achievement for discovering everything on each and every level, so I just went for it. Eventually, between having nothing to do but mine after everyone goes home and owning whirligigs (at this point I can't tell when I first started seeing good enough profits, to be honest), I've started making more than enough money solely by crafting ingots of all kinds and selling them back to Natalia and Francis. (It may not be hundreds of thousands like the fish fingers exploit, but it works for me!) Cooking and fishing feel like afterthoughts; I like cooking because it gives my brain the good juice to tick boxes on a checklist, but fishing is a mistake. Don't get me wrong, fishing as a mechanic (in farm sims or otherwise) gets a bad rep, because it's absolutely not enjoyable in some games, but here, it's just boring. I wouldn't want to play some minigame I can't even get right most of the time, but here, you're just staring at a pool of 1-4 fish/crustaceans until the thing you think you want is hooked, then reel it in. You might as well be fishing for unrecognizable shadows at this point. I'm glad there's at least a section dedicated to fish by source, but other than that, you won't be able to tell which model they're represented by or which kind of bait they're most likely to nibble on. Just make like Animal Crossing and subject me to completely blind RNG instead of making me choose what I think I want and giving me something that's not even remotely close. (One way to avoid this song and dance is shapeshifting into Tara's cat and going fishing that way. You don't get a conscious choice or the whole fishing animation, but it's so much faster.) Last, but certainly not least, though I've complimented how alive the world feels through character interactions, the romance aspect is woefully underdeveloped. After the wedding, you can talk to your partner every day (but there's no choice for sweet talk, so they'll always talk about what's been going on, as if nothing has changed between you two), give them gifts and engage in some light PDA (and I do mean light, it's things like putting a hand on their cheek or booping them on the nose.) The gifting becomes a vital mechanic at this stage; whereas at first I was able to make friends with everyone at a decent speed just by talking to them every day, by the point you're married, your partner will get little to no relationship progress, so you have to give them one of their favorite foods. From there, after their relationship marker is full, they'll ask you out on a date, with a choice of six different locations (all but one are locked at first, though), which would be fine and interesting… if it didn't turn out that not only is the date just a few snapshots with Tara and her partner silently having fun, the date itself lasts all day (ending at 11 PM specifically, iirc, so you still have a little time to take care of your farm, even if you didn't know beforehand). Even though you're not forced to go to bed right after the date, my jaw dropped when I realized that just happened and there wasn't any warning before committing. (Seems like a no-brainer to me!) After that, you have to keep giving your partner their favorite foods again, rinse and repeat. Besides this, the only special thing I'm aware of when it comes to romance is that your partner will have a petname for Tara and everyone has a different one. Based on all this, I'm shocked that there are separate achievements for marrying each possible partner. Also, if you're not married to Amira or Kim by Summer of second year, they apparently start dating, with no way to reverse it or break them up. As much as I will gladly keep reiterating that I enjoy all the characters having rich lives of their own, that's just anti-player design. I'm still on my first romance path, but if this is really as boring as it is for every partner, I'll just use my backup save to get the other marriage achievements without further commitment. Other than that, I'm waiting on the few recipes that are scattered between various quests for Year 2, as well as a bunch of other unlockables… but for now, I think I'm happy with taking a break.

See you next month! :)

Progress report: July ‘24 (a.k.a. Oops, All Lies!)

Yeah, so… that thing about playing on my Steam Deck accidentally turned out to be a lie.
At first, I was just focusing on the last of my Game Pass sub so far… and then I just decided to keep going, playing on my laptop and leaving the Deck introduction until August. I swear it’s gonna happen this time! ^^;;

I tried to play through some Summer-themed games, at the very least:

Half-Life 2

Age of Enigma: The Secret of the Sixth Ghost

2.3 hours
no achievements

Though I've never played this one before I discovered it on Steam some time ago, this one's another throwback to a time of truly casual gaming. It also happens to be a "fringe case", so to speak, as I was totally expecting a HOG, and didn't even stop to consider that it's actually just a point-and-click with minigames until I was done with it. As for the story, Ashley Reeves (the store description and reviews seem to be calling her Jessica and Rachel, I don't know where that came from) sees a mysterious house in a dream, then seeks it out in real life. After entering, she's faced with a mysterious man named Nathan who essentially tasks her with appeasing six ghosts that are trapped around the house. These represent a handful of delightfully stereotypical characters representing different places around the world and ages of the past. The gameplay is a mix of easy point-and-clicking and minigames (ranging from stupidly easy to "no achievements mean I can skip this right away"). The only aspect that holds this game back from measuring up to its contemporaries, in my opinion, is the lack of a definitive hint system. There is a written guide with partial hints for each and every single task, but no universal hint button that points you where to go or what to click on next. That being said, it's still a really short and simple game, even more so considering you're free to skip the minigames you don't want to play through (or simplify them first… what is this, The Cube?) Judging from the ending, I guess they could have been trying to imply there might be a sequel…? As far as I know, though, there isn't one.

Half-Life 2

Barbarous: Tavern Of Emyr

5.3 hours
52 of 52 achievements

I'm hoping to slowly but surely start picking up more GameHouse games… this one found its way into my library first. It's like any other Dash-style game, albeit with no minigames, which streamlines the gameplay while also making it mindnumbingly easy. (I only had to replay two levels to get a perfect score before doing the achievement for replays, and that's because I got confused about serving new items, so you'd have to slip a lot to fail.) The story is serviceable, not as dramatic as Heart's Medicine from what I remember of those games, but the comedy is nose exhale-level at best. Some characters switch between a setting-appropriate vocabulary and joking about things like going out shopping (women be shoppin', amirite) or expecting a Yelp reviewer to come (just one?) There's a bunch of sexual innuendo, which to me is in stark contrast with what these games present themselves as. While it's not that "colorful and cartoonish" = "for kids", if those jokes weren't present, this game would be suitable for kids. But as they are, they're being skirted by with a wink and a smile, which just makes me wonder who the target audience is supposed to be. In one of the locations, the last few pieces of gear that show up for sale are essentially leather items for S&M play! It's uncomfortable! …oh, and also there's a painfully outdated Justin Bieber joke… this game came out in 2020. Give the guy some slack, he hasn't performed "Baby" on stage in, like, twelve years, if not more! I do feel apologetic for these blunders, though, as I noticed in the credits that SQRT3, the studio behind this one, is Polish… as a Pole, I do not claim their terrible sense of humor.

Half-Life 2

Coffee Talk Episode 2: Hibiscus & Butterfly GAME
PASS

14.2 hours
53 of 53 achievements

It's hard to appropriately gauge my thoughts on the first game, but all in all, I think I liked this one better, somehow. The two new characters brought in a whole new plot thread and the two new coffee-making ingredients, along with two lists of new drinks you can make. The short stories you can read on the side were pretty great, I was looking forward to each and every next one. The OST is pure lo-fi paradise and the art is gorgeous in every regard. I guess what seems off to me about this game is… it's all just so perfect. I get that as the barista, we're only let in on a fraction of the characters' lives, but even if they're supposed to be going through some kind of hardship, everything reaches a positive conclusion at some point (and even if it's not "positive" per se, there's not much at stake emotionally). The narrative is full of life advice you might have heard before, everyone's got some sort of advice for the character that's going through something… it's not that the writing doesn't have character; it's more like the writing is giving "devs speaking through their characters", which takes me out of it at times. …or maybe life could look like this and I'm just used to people being shitty to me. Oh well! Either way, the coffee was great - both in-game and in real life.

Half-Life 2

Fix Me Fix You

3.6 hours
5 of 5 achievements

Austin Lewis is a poor college student with a weed-smoking habit, barely keeping up a relationship with his girlfriend and a job at a diner she got him so he can pay off student loans. One day, his girlfriend breaks up with him and fires him from his job, but then… a mysterious woman shows up and offers him a deal: if he can help his high school ex-turned-popstar, Jacqueline, out of a slump that led her to quit performing, he'll get paid handsomely. This is easily one of the better VNs from Sapphire Dragon Productions, possibly because it's not trying to be set in Japan or Korea like some others. The character art is great, the voice acting is mostly good (Natalie steals the show, Erik sounds a bit too much like "guy putting on a voice"), the music and background art are serviceable… I just wish someone was around to help tighten up the writing. Occasional spelling mistakes or forgotten periods aside, there's quite a handful of dumb repetitions that could have been omitted if anyone would have cared to look at the script some time after it was originally written. I'm merely paraphrasing/manufacturing examples, but sentences like "It's a serious issue that needs to be taken seriously" or "I really need her to do this because I'm really frustrated right now" are painful to parse, especially moreso given that everyone except the main character is voiced.

Half-Life 2

My Name is Addiction

0.9 hours
no achievements

Utterly confusing. I was under the impression that this would be about struggling with porn addiction, and to some degree, it was. For the most part, though, anything one could potentially have taken away from it was buried under a mix of amateur poetry/purple prose and awkward wording that makes it seem like the author is not a native English speaker. Some of the visuals are good, the music is… different… but at the end of the day, don't expect to learn anything substantial about what it's like to live with an addiction or work on getting out of it. If you're struggling with any kind of mental health issues, just put that buck towards self-help instead. And while you're at it, enjoy this look into what the dev's other forays looked like.

Half-Life 2

Postmen of Horizon

0.6 hours
no achievements

Now removed from Steam, Postmen of Horizon is set in a futuristic world, where people can send letters to friends and family members that have already passed. It's quite an expensive service, as it's not easy to find a postman for each letter - after all, a postman needs to be willing to travel to the afterlife to deliver the message. This premise is great and I feel like it could go so much further, but as it is, all that exists is a half an hour long VN that was originally written in Russian and then poorly translated into English. I'd say "avoid it", but Steam caught on to the level of quality of this one a few years ago.

Half-Life 2

Purrfectly Hidden Cats - Kittenrock

0.5 hours
99 of 99 achievements

Possibly the best one of these yet. It's upfront about the fact that finding some of the cats will require interacting with the surroundings and there's a bunch of achievements for doing so. Every cat has a thought bubble that lets you in on what they're doing or planning/attempting to do. I'm not a cat lover, but I will gladly take anything that makes a game like this last longer than 5 minutes.

Half-Life 2

Sakura Beach

2.1 hours
no achievements

More Sakura slop, aye aye! This one is about a guy, Seiji, going on a week-long trip to the beach with his two childhood friends, Ayumi and Momoko. Thing is, he loves space; so much so that he will zone out frequently, pondering something in relation to it. That by itself would have been fine, if it weren't for Ayumi and Momoko always snapping him out of it, acting like it's the worst thing he could be doing. He mentions that he wants to become an astrophysicist after graduating high school, and that they'll have time to hang out once they're done with some exams that are coming up, but they're constantly huffing and complaining about… well, seemingly about the fact that he's so driven. But when they're not constantly calling him an idiot (hello, tsundere archetype) or making him out to be a pervert even if he hasn't done anything indecent (hello, anime tropes from the past decade), they're very clearly perving on each other and putting him in an uncomfortable position. Then, near the end, it's randomly revealed that he's only this determined to make something of himself because he's trying to run away from thinking about his estranged parents. Say whaaat? That's just so… dumb. It feels shoehorned in for… I don't know what reason. An attempt to make the story seem more dramatic than it is? A truly pathetic one, if so. From my perspective, he just earnestly loves space, yet those girls do nothing but go around claiming that he should know what they're thinking without them voicing their thoughts (you know, that thing all women say?) and acting like he's planning for the worst series of decisions in his life by choosing to study diligently and aim towards getting the job of his dreams instead of… I dunno, dating either of them. As dumb as this sounds… I want justice for the guy, seriously. I'm just glad this wasn't as long as the current VNDB average suggests. And hey, at least this one thanked me for playing!

Half-Life 2

Shtriga: Summer Camp

2.7 hours
8 of 8 achievements

I definitely need to start catching up with HOGs from Alawar. In this one, you're… uh… some woman… who's tasked with investigating an abandoned summer camp and finding a missing boy that was attending it. Despite the good sound design, the game is just not that creepy. In comparison, as campy as it is, in Artifex Mundi games you'll get to watch the villain trying to act all scary (and failing due to the mediocre voice acting and uncanny sprite animations), but here you don't get anything. Shtriga barely appears, and when she does, she hardly does anything scary. In horror, the anticipation of the scare is more powerful than the scare itself… but implying this to be a horror story is a stretch when most of the time you're not even thinking about Shtriga or anything pertaining to her backstory or origin. (You don't even get anything substantial about that, either.) For achievements' sake, playing without using hints even outside of HO scenes and minigames was a new kind of challenge; while there weren't any random HO scenes appearing across the map unprompted, some pixel hunting had to be done. When I got stuck, I'd be wandering around recent locations, mousing over every inch of the scene in hopes of finding something I had missed. It also felt a little jarring to see close-ups locking up immediately, as soon as you got what you needed from them; maybe some kind of slower fade-out would have been a nice addition? I noticed in the forum that someone got locked out of progressing when they didn't notice an item that needs to be picked up before tinkering around with a close-up in a way where it was impossible to do so later. I also have to praise some of the minigames for either not being something that crops up often (like the 4x4 sliding puzzle, as dumb as it may sound) or just outright clever, though not impossible (like the moon sorting). Overall though, this one is definitely a skip.

Half-Life 2

Summer With You

2.5 hours
8 of 8 achievements

I was positively surprised by the animated sprites and (nearly) full voice acting. Unfortunately, that alone does not a good game make. You play as Kai, a guy who gets bullied at school on a daily basis. His childhood friend, Yuka, is also a target. Initially, Kai suspects he's being bullied because the popular girl, Akemi, is constantly trying to get him to hang out with her, but that doesn't make sense when Yuka becomes part of the equation. After a more severe "prank" is pulled on Akemi, because she's not the one ordering the bullies around, Kai tries investigating… This just was not good. It seems to have been made in Ren'Py, yet doesn't include basic options, such as rollback, a backlog, a "text speed" slider or even a gallery menu. Some of the sprite animations are smooth, other ones seem sluggish. Scene transitions are awkward, with a blank textbox or the sprite of a character present in the previous scene often tagging along for the ride. Sprites of characters supposed to be present sometimes don't show up during skipping with no rhyme or reason. Skipping itself works well (toggling between skipping read/unread lines is possible), but there's no UI element to indicate that skipping is in progress. Some lines that are supposed to be voiced get forgotten, others are shown twice, first unvoiced, then voiced. (Somehow, Minori seems to be the most consistent victim of this, which is sad, 'cause I ended up liking her the most.) And perhaps most importantly, as far as strictly technical aspects go, there is no automatic return to the main menu after completing the game, making having reached the ending anticlimactic and unsatisfying. And the story… oh boy, the story. Some of it might not have been saved either way, given how the game was translated from Russian to English (badly, that's how). Still… this forced Japanese setting is annoying as all hell, and you would have thought we left that in the last decade. But for Russian VNs specifically, it's usually either this or a depressingly realistic vision of living in Russia that eventually also stops making sense because of a shoddy translation, so… lesser of two evils? The bullying that drives most of the plot seems like it could have been resolved by having a serious conversation with a teacher, but for the story's sake it's as if there's only one teacher present at all times who doesn't care all that much about their students. Without spoiling much of anything, characters set up as "the good ones" do some awful shit and "the bad ones" are actually victims of the system, and it all culminates in the most ridiculous sequence of events, especially considering that the endings are about being happily in love with either Yuka or Akemi. Also important to mention that I had to check the forum for this game to find the dev's walkthrough to get to the actual endings; half the choices that need to be picked make no sense to me, even now, and the ones that differ between "routes" don't add all that much flavor to the story at large. Maybe if the dev wasn't busy with trying to sell this game under two different titles, it could have gotten some more love.

See you next month! :)

Progress report: June ‘24 (a.k.a. I Got a Gift!)

My birthday’s come and gone, but this year’s gift will stay with me: I got myself a Steam Deck! So far I’ve spent a good amount of time just downloading my verified games onto it, then I ordered a tempered glass protector for safety’s sake… and now I’m ready to start catching up with all the games my regular ol’ laptop just can’t handle for one reason or another! Boy, it’ll take a while for the excitement to wear off! I think July’s gonna be (almost) all about games for the Deck!

I also got a bunch of games from my dear friend, Saku. I promise I’ll get to (at least some of them) sooner! >.< Thank you again! I love you!!

But for now, here’s what’s been happening in June…

Half-Life 2

20 Small Mazes

1 hours
1 of 1 achievements

A really small game with even smaller mazes. All of them are based around a different mechanic, each more intriguing than the next. There's no time limits or enforced play order. Most importantly, I'm proud to report that I solved 18 of them without looking for help. If you've got an hour to spare and want to get your brain working, this is the game for you.

Half-Life 2

Cats Hidden in Paris

0.1 hours
101 of 101 achievements

This one had to wait its turn for a while now, ha! It's got a separate slider for meowing, which I turned down… maybe a little more than I would have liked, but I couldn't be bothered to tweak the settings again. The ability to "find" seagulls is funny, and various random things making their own sounds when clicked on is a nice touch.

Half-Life 2

Figment 2: Creed Valley GAME
PASS

7.6 hours
18 of 18 achievements

Despite my mixed feelings towards Figment, I couldn't help but pick up the sequel right away. This time, all the locations create a cohesive whole, if only because the overarching puzzle mechanic lies within the Perspective Switch, which allows you to change the state of mind from close-minded to open-minded and back again when needed. Both states have a distinct look and sound to them, and listening to various Opinions to see how they change between them is entertaining. There's a lot more fighting this time around, with much more variety in enemy types and movesets (with another point for cohesion, they're all presumed to have been planted by the villain, matching their theme and color scheme), as well as the option to strike harder right after a dodge. You can now also collect smaller health points dropped by enemies after defeat, in addition to the pre-programmed big ones. The puzzling aspect has also gotten an upgrade - it's no longer only about figuring out the right order to push buttons or switch levers to get to the next part of the world, but even when it is, it feels more inspired than in the first game. Lastly, there's the Ethics Maze. It (and consequently, The Ditch) stand out as the only locations with a distinctly different visual style. At a certain point of their journey through it, Dusty and Piper fall down to The Ditch and have to find their way out of it. As the name might suggest, The Ditch is where Opinions that were unable to reach the end of the maze have made their dwelling and right away, they don't make a good impression on the main characters. At one point, a choir of these Opinions forms to sing a song about what it is they believe in that The Mind at large doesn't. Between some inconsequential and more ridiculous ideas ("Pineapple pizzas rock" - please let this 'argument' die already; "Video games can't be musicals" - I don't know who told the devs that, but they're clearly proving those people wrong), and the very obviously harmful thoughts ("I can still drive, 'cause it's only my fifth beer", "Having another child will save this relationship"), a certain one stands out. "Vaccines cause autism" is now a rejected opinion of The Mind; what character development! It's possibly the greatest upgrade to the franchise, but it doesn't excuse The Plague's song from the first game entirely. Also, the sense of humor could use some work. Dusty is still mean to Piper for no reason (as if Courage and Optimism can't coexist?) and some of the puns, while creative, just aren't all that funny. All that's left for me to play now is Back to Bed, the earlier, unrelated game.

Half-Life 2

Jessika

3.1 hours
8 of 8 achievements

Much like Her Story, this game tasks you with finding out what happened to the person of interest by watching a series of videos. Here, it's established that you work as a data decrypter (which is alluded to as not being a particularly cheap service) and help people learn more about why they might have chosen to leave this world behind. Jessika is one of such people, with her father blindsided by her passing. After he gives you her login credentials, you're free to start looking. After watching the first few videos, you're going to want to look up keywords to find more, but to me, this system is somewhat busted. I can kind of understand that searching for pronouns yields no results (it could be a preventative measure against being handed everything on a silver platter), but then some videos don't appear at all for certain keywords even though they contain them and vice versa, and some keywords have to be input in plural form, otherwise they don't work. The game was originally made in German, along with all the footage, which doesn't bother me, but the English dub track… I switched to it for just a second and it sounded like an afterthought, as if the actress shut herself in a closet with a mic in one hand and the script in the other. An English translation for the game is available, and as weird as this may sound, I'm glad that visually there's nothing important to pay attention to in any of the videos, because the translations are provided not in the form of regular subtitles, but a thin textbox to the side of the media player, which expands vertically as the script appears; this is bad enough by itself, but it's also not at all timed to match the footage. I did consider at some point that this was a design choice, given that the icon for the translation is an outline in the shape of a globe, implying the appearance of a real-time translation plug-in rather than embedded subtitles (which make sense in Her Story, thanks to the setting). While that's neat as an idea, I feel something like this is absolutely worth sacrificing the "immersion". Another "preventative measure"/mechanic (?) is that all the files are categorized by varying degrees of encryption, with gray files being the least heavily encrypted and red files being the most heavily encrypted. This is just kind of dumb, because it's not like there's any way to learn which keywords are needed to unlock which files, so the only way to play the game "correctly" is to bookmark each and every locked video and check back up on them from time to time; not to mention that it's pointless to lock videos with content that isn't particularly deep into the story, when just about any other FMV game in a similar vein will be open enough that you'll get to the very last video (and get the option to finish your playthrough) before you watch all the footage anyway. I mentioned pronouns already, but some verbs don't yield any results either, and when I looked at the guide, I realized I wouldn't have come up with a bunch of the keywords anyway. I tried my best to pick out three, four words from each and every video I watched at some point, and not even that was enough. Another thing that I feel is worth mentioning is the overstimulation caused by everything secondary to your goal. In Her Story and Telling Lies, your goal is to find and watch enough videos to learn what happened in the characters' lives; besides that, there's a simple game resembling any other casual game one would expect to come with a new computer - you might want to play it for the achievement tied to it or you might not care about it at all, but the choice is yours. In Jessika, the moment you hear something interesting in a video you're watching, you're either going to get prompted to tell your colleagues about it, receive another vague, anonymous email, or get startled by the screen glitching out for no reason (someone on the dev team must have liked SIMULACRA a bit too much); sometimes, those things happen almost at once, which is extremely distracting and, in the end, does not influence anything. And then there's the actual story… oh, boy. In short, Jessika is a story about how drastically the hardships one goes through can end up altering their life. For Jessika, parental neglect and sexual assault may have very well been the catalysts for falling in with the wrong kind of people, and ultimately, growing into a radicalized outlook. However - and I'm merely echoing what I've gathered from the negative reviews I've read - the approach taken here culminates into somewhat of an unfortunate tool for further radicalization. Jessika is presented as someone who's easy to relate to or sympathize with and at no point is there any attempt from any of the other characters to decidedly condemn her beliefs. To add insult to injury, though I can't compare this against the German script, the translation for one of the videos contains the N-word, with a hard R, uncensored. There really is nothing to gain from not censoring a slur, but if you feel you must use it (which I realize is messed up to say, I don't mean to pretend like the concept of "giving/getting a pass" is anything that should be genuinely exercised), then at least censor it properly. TL;DR: The devs saw the success of Her Story and SIMULACRA and said "bet", ended up mishandling a subject requiring careful approach.

Half-Life 2

Last Days of Spring 2

1.9 hours
7 of 7 achievements

I don't know that I know when the last day of spring is supposed to be, anyway. I completed the first one on June 21st, this year I raced to complete the sequel before June 22nd came to an end… either way, it's hard to comment on how the story progressed (sorry not sorry, devs, I don't replay prequels, no matter how long it's been), but it's just another game from Sapphire Dragon Productions - if you played one, you've played them all. The character art in this one is vastly different from the prequel and the standout of the whole thing, but that's about it.

Half-Life 2

Lofi Ping Pong

1.2 hours
5 of 5 achievements

If I remember correctly, this is one of those games I saw in the store one day, wishlisted based on the concept alone, then went on about my day. At some point, it came out, then eventually became free-to-play, and now, I've played through it. Since I'm not necessarily interested in playing my own music or challenging friends to a match, this game took so little time to complete I'm glad I didn't have to pay for it. The premise is interesting - playing ping-pong against physical manifestations of the five stages of grief - but there's barely any more story than you'd get from solving a maze printed on the back of a cereal box. As for the gameplay, I think it's really good, the timing is very tight and there are some cool modifiers at play. I was initially discouraged from trying the game out by the negative reviews that focused on how hard the game is, and I'm not sure if the timing got adjusted later or what, but I didn't feel like it was unacceptably difficult. That being said, I would definitely change the order of the levels, so that the fox's level comes before the monkey and the manatee, 'cause it's a lot easier. And even more importantly, though it might look cool, I think the menu screen should include words that actually tell you what is what. There is a "No Fail" mode you can turn on in the settings if you're struggling, but I misunderstood the option, and as I realized later, I had played through most of the game without it… so after I turned it on, I went ahead to play the last stage and didn't need it at all, 'cause it was so easy. This same dev has released another sports-themed rhythm game, which they also later made free-to-play, so I'll probably be playing it soon.

Half-Life 2

Samantha Swift and the Golden Touch

3.6 hours
no achievements

Okay, I was way too harsh on the first game back when I first played it. Who cares that it's easy as balls? The art style isn't bad, either. I decided to pick this one up while waiting for my friend to finish her game, and it turned out to require the perfect amount of time and level of engagement. Samantha thought she just completed a solid project, but oh, no! She worked for the wrong person! Because my write-up on the previous game was so crap, I have no chance of recalling who did or didn't appear before and what's happened since then, but what's important now is that she has to work against her new enemy and to bring them down, she needs to travel all around the world, collecting fragments of the Heart of Midas, as well as other artifacts associated with the king with a golden touch. The main drawback of this version (and the source of most negative Steam reviews) is that the .exe does not launch/run properly; to make the game work, you need to download a different .exe file, kindly linked in the forums, and replace the original one with it. In case anyone's wary of things like these: that's what I did; the game worked fine and I got no malware. After this one, two more Samantha Swift games were released, but neither of them are available on Steam, so who knows if I'll ever play them.

Half-Life 2

Singalongsong

0.8 hours
7 of 7 achievements

I first spotted this game when I noticed one of the curators I follow reviewed it and after a quick look at the screenshots, I immediately fell in love. A rhythm game with a pretty art style and gameplay reminiscent of Rhythm Heaven, and it's free?! I downloaded it right away. From the very beginning, it was a bit odd that the store page didn't have a direct download button. (I can only assume this is some sort of a region-lock issue? Even though the game itself is not region-locked?) Then, it immediately got so, so much worse when I realized the game doesn't want to play properly. (I still managed to get two achievements before I got it to work, though.) Thankfully, there's an easy enough solution mentioned in the forums (for Windows, at least): setting all available language options to one and the same language (for me, this was American English). It worked, but I had to restart my laptop maybe three times for the new settings to work. And when I finally got to play… the game really is pretty and the gameplay is akin to Rhythm Heaven, though it only uses one button, but… I was struggling to get down the rhythm of a few of the levels so much, I had to turn off the music to hear the SFX and the (optional) metronome. It's utterly crazy to me - to play this rhythm game perfectly, I had to turn off the music; y'know, the one thing that's the core of any rhythm game? Yeah, don't play this if you care for achievements and/or struggle with good rhythm games, it's just not worth it. I was led to believe I'd get about half and hour's worth of bouncing along to the rhythm as I ace everything in a few tries, and I ended up with the BGM off, watching the animation frames to make sure it was the correct moment to press Space. Bleh.

Half-Life 2

Supreme League of Patriots Issue 3: Ice Cold in Ellis

4.9 hours
22 of 22 achievements

Lately, I've been trying my best to catch up with a bunch of series/franchises I kind of left behind (but never forgot about) and work on having made some progress each and every day. The pressure got to me… and I ended up playing this on my birthday despite hating the previous episodes. I'm not gonna be nearly as lukewarm about this one as I was about the other ones. By now, the main character has fully transformed into Purple Patriot, the "superhero" who can't do jack shit and spouts conservative rhetoric every chance he gets. Too bad for him it's so easily refutable (which Mel, Sam and Bleeding Heart prove time and time again), otherwise this would have been an exercise in misery… scratch that, it's not good enough when 99% of the "comedy" in this game is just that, personal insults and politics-adjacent jabs back and forth. It's "nose exhale" at best and "clutching my head, wishing for it to be over" at worst. I can only vaguely remember one joke that wasn't about politics or the faults in any character's lifestyle. Gameplay-wise, I can't tell which is worse: the fact that 99% of this game hinges on you knowing who to talk to next (the "point-and-click" tag is doing some heavy lifting here), or the fact that when you get to the point-and-clicking, you've forgotten how to use the damn inventory menu all over again. Okay, let's assume you've listened your way to the end… the established problem is resolved, the narrator teases some kind of future development… and then it's all over. This is the last available installment. What happened? I haven't looked into it closely, nor do I care to, but I seem to have caught a glimpse of someone in the forums saying that the devs bounced, possibly due to a lack of funding for future episodes. (Something something, they might have tried to release a comic instead?) A quick look at the store page for any of the episodes reveals they came out in 2015, which, unrelated as it is, brings to mind the idea that whatever force allowed the three available episodes to get made ultimately gave in, much like the teen dystopia books (and their subsequent movie adaptations) of the early 2010s would give way to fantasy romance novels; in the first half, the fantasy of bonding together to overthrow the government (in the teen dystopia stories) or owning a conservative was just that, a fantasy. But as 2016 came around and an absolute joke of a president got elected in the US, an unjust/conservative government was no longer a distant thought; it became reality. As satisfying as it may seem to concoct a plan of rebellion or use facts and logic to obliterate an all-righter far too self-obsessed and stupid to fight back, fiction is meant to be escapism and no one wants to engage with things that hit too close to home, so to speak. Purple Patriot's supporters have diminished and I, for one, am glad. (Seriously though, I would like to not be getting political, but these games were all about politics. Yuck.)

Half-Life 2

THE BUTTON

0.2 hours
10 of 10 achievements

This is another game about clicking a button for achievements. However, there's a catch to this one: while every click gives you one point, every point raises the probability of your score resetting by 1%. The game has been out for a little over a year by this point, and still, nobody has reached 60 points (for the record, the high score was 58 when I played). It's a free and simple game you can play if you need something short to kill some time with and want some easy achievements, but it looks really nice (as in, it's dumb, but not shitpost-level dumb). The popular video game quotes that were reworked to include buttons were a nice touch.

See you next month! :)

Progress report: May ‘24 (a.k.a. Finally?!)

Somehow, it feels like May took ages to end. What else is there to say, uhh… nope, can’t think of anything interesting. Sorry! :( Just living my little, boring life at the moment.

Half-Life 2

A Wild Catgirl Appears!

1.0 hours
5 of 5 achievements

I'm genuinely taken aback by the fact that it took me five years to play another game from this dev. I seem to remember really wanting to buy this one for a long time, too… Anyway, A Wild Catgirl Appears! is the story of Ami, an ordinary student at an all girls' high school who's also secretly gay. She hasn't been able to come out of the closet in fear of being bullied, which makes sense, considering how rampant homophobia seems to be at her school. Due to a newly established rule, everyone is now obligated to join a club. Ami chooses the coding club to try and avoid doing too much work, but she quickly takes a liking to the club president and they begin work on a game about a ninja catgirl. Some time after her design is complete, the girls begin working on an RFID figurine of her and soon enough, it turns out that the figurine can morph into a living version of the catgirl herself - and back again, if needed! Shenanigans ensue (but not that many, really). The game has gotten multiple updates since it first came out - a new UI design and an art overhaul (the original art style for the CGs was rather poor; now the important scenes use different art styles, which also stand out when compared against the character sprites, but for the better now, in my opinion), but I have to say, I'm surprised by the discrepancy between my playtime and a bunch of other ones I looked at. To anyone who's played it before, is it possible that a chunk of the story was removed, or was it just a problem with the skip function? As for the story, it's your usual "baby's first dating sim"; the characters know each other for a week or so, go on one date and suddenly, they're in love and the game is over before your brain can catch up. That by itself wouldn't have been too bad, but this game very much reads like the author themselves processing their feelings regarding their own sexual orientation through the fantasy of catgirls from another world giving them the courage to open up and talk about it with someone. It's equal parts heartwarming and saddening, and in the end, given the length that it is, doesn't make for a particularly good story. That being said, I own all of the dev's other Steam releases, so I'm curious to see how much they've improved over the years.

Half-Life 2

Cat Search In The Wild West

0.2 hours
100 of 100 achievements

Time to get started with the cat madness… For my first pick, this wasn't bad. The art style looks generic, but it's a different kind of minimalistic than the pioneer of this little subgenre. If you use a hint, you'll get a red, YouTube thumbnail-style arrow leading you to a matching circle around the area in which you need to look for the cat. Took me twice as long to complete, because this one actually has an achievement for not using any hints. Me dum dum!

Half-Life 2

Figment: Journey Into the Mind GAME
PASS

7.1 hours
23 of 23 achievements

Why is that subtitle not part of the Steam title? We may never know! Figment is an adventure game that plays out inside some guy's mind (no, really, you're never going to learn more than that), which seemed like a novel enough idea to me… and then I read that Psychonauts already did it, so I've got some catching up to do. You play as Dusty, the… well, I never really learned what he's supposed to be, exactly. [EDIT: In spite of having mixed thoughts about the first game, I already picked up the sequel and it graciously reminded me that Dusty is supposed to be a physical representation of courage.] The guardian that prevents evil from seeping in too deep? The imaginary friend? Why not both? …and you're accompanied by Piper, the bird. Apparently, Dusty has gotten rusty (bars), but now that the Fear of Loss has appeared and started taunting him, it turns out there's a whole lot of puzzling and fighting to do. And he's not the only baddie that needs defeating! The others have hidden in the Freedom Isles (aka "the right brain") and Clockwork Junction (aka "the left brain"). First of all, I have to say that Figment ended up being a mediocre experience all across the board. The visual presentation and main theme of exploring the mind while the body is comatose is reminiscent of Epistory (visually, it has also been compared to Bastion, though I have not played that game), but that's about where my praise ends. I love the distinction between the creative, free-spirited land of the right brain and the industrial, logic-focused land of the left brain, but nothing ever feels fully cohesive. Spiders being enemies in the left brain make sense, considering their well-established status of the "creepy crawlies", but in the right brain, your enemies are… vomiting rats…? I didn't think much of them, but I can only imagine that's enough to trigger emetophobia. Voice acting is all over the place, too; it'd be one thing if it was just the accents that were hard to place, but I'm almost certain there wasn't a single character that sounded "right" for all of their screen time. The Fear of Loss stands out in particular as possibly the least threatening villain ever, thanks to his voice. Also notable is the game's musical edge, with the villains breaking out into song when you fight them… and that was charming, but then the first villain alluded to autism being a disease. Supposedly, the devs explained somewhere that that was supposed to be an example of how wrong/uninformed the character is, but there's no room in the game itself for that to be addressed and/or challenged. Hardly a clever idea when there's still tons of people out there believing the vaccine hoax. Another similar miss comes in the form of mist that comes in waves to hurt you while you're exploring the left brain, aka "waves of depression". Do these devs just not have anyone neurodivergent on the team or did they seriously think this was okay? Because it's not, considering the "just smile and it'll be better" kind of narrative people with depression are being fed to this day. The gameplay is a mix of puzzle-solving and fighting enemies, with neither being particularly challenging. I'm echoing the reviews I read on this one, but the fights really are just a loop of "click until dead" > "get health back", rinse and repeat. As for puzzles, you know me - I used a guide to get through the sokoban-like puzzles in the left brain (mostly because that's not my cup of tea, but also, oh no, the sCaRy wAvEs oF dEpReSsIoN!!). And in the end, the moral of the story is that what we all need is that little voice inside our head to tell us to get better. Jesus. Can't say I'm in a hurry to play this again when the time comes.

Half-Life 2

Hentai Day - Ringsel in Trouble

2.2 hours
20 of 20 achievements

Every once in a while, I enter giveaways for these lewd games, convinced I'm not going to win… and then, I sometimes do. If you played any of these, you played them all; all you need to do is solve the puzzle. This one sets itself apart by featuring only art by Ringsel… of Ringsel (if I understand correctly, both the artist and their OC are named Ringsel). As with other games I've played from this dev (SEXTS and Meet My Teacher), the UI could look better and the BGM might need a replacement (just one, though; this game's got multiple, but one of them stands out in particular because it doesn't loop well).

Half-Life 2

Her Story

2.5 hours
13 of 13 achievements

I said I'd be happy to play it again next year, and I was! I almost forgot to utilize the uber trick of looking up the base tag repeatedly to watch all the videos in order! That helped me understand the story better, as after my initial playthrough, I was convinced Hannah/Eve was one and the same person with a case of DID, whereas now, I do believe that they're twins and Eve's last words are a rather straight-forward implication that her and Hannah are able to play one and the same person once again. I still can't believe Viva Seifert hasn't had many more acting roles before or after this. Also, if I ever play this a third time, maybe I won't forget to turn the visual filter off.

Half-Life 2

Lil Gator Game GAME
PASS

5.8 hours
22 of 22 achievements

I can't tell where I first heard about it, or if I just hallucinated it, but I have to say this: I went into this game with the idea that it's supposed to be like A Short Hike and I was not disappointed. In the simplest of terms, Lil Gator Game is basically A Short Hike, just with a different coat of paint… and that didn't stop me from loving every second of it. They did a spoof on Ace Attorney, for goodness sake! But let's start at the beginning. You're Lil Gator (it's never explicitly stated how old you are, but I wanna say, no younger than 10 years old) and you're out playing with your friends. You're on a big, epic adventure, with enemies lurking around every corner and loot tucked away in the nooks and crannies you might not have even noticed. Your big sis is also there! …but she's stuck with her laptop, typing away at her project. Oh no! That means she's missing out on (possibly) the coolest game of her life! That's how the idea to improve the game even further hatches in the mind of Lil Gator. To do that, you'll need to run, jump and fly around the island to find some new friends (and lend them a hand before they'll lend you theirs), fight your way through hordes of enemies and collect all the loot. It's a charming little adventure for anyone and everyone who liked A Short Hike and/or (assuming you haven't played it) enjoys anthropomorphic animal characters, exploring at their own pace… relaxing, in general. Can't wait to have an excuse to play this again in the future.

Half-Life 2

Little Kitty, Big City GAME
PASS

7.9 hours
39 of 39 achievements

I wish I didn't have such bad memories associated with cats IRL to enjoy this game more. Here, you play as a cat that fell out the window of… boy, the fourth, or maybe fifth floor while napping on the windowsill and somehow survived it, and now… well, now you've got to get back home. But you're too tired to climb that high and as it soon turns out, some animals around the place could use your help, so going home might have to wait after all. In the shortest of terms, where Lil Gator Game is like A Short Hike turned 3D, Little Kitty, Big City is like A Short Hike with less soul… The first issue are the huge water puddles all over the place. This is explained somewhere along the way as a freak accident of the waterworks, but it never actually gets fixed. It's one thing that some of those are used to prevent you from trying to walk off the map where it ends, but accidentally running into one of the other ones while casually zooming around town is inevitable… and then you're gonna have to watch the grand animation of the cat jumping and hissing every time this happens, which kills all the momentum of running. Same with unlocked fast travel points, someone just decided that Tanuki (the character in charge of the fast travel system) has to stick her head out of the sewers, so forget about running over any unlocked fast travel points - you're just going to end up bonking your head against them/Tanuki. Another big aspect of the game is platforming - you're going to have to jump around to find your way onto rooftops and various other fixtures. The problem with this is, not only does jumping feel sluggish/weighty, it would be impossible to get anywhere without using the "precision jump"; that is, holding down the jump button to align the trajectory of the jump before committing to your decision. This is another thing that eliminates any possible sense of momentum from the equation. Then, there's climbing. Whereas in A Short Hike and Lil Gator Game, you're able to climb any vertical surface you push against, here climbing is limited to surfaces covered in ivory. This is a great way to entice the player to look closer for new places to go, but… why, then, is there a failsafe where if you jump at a surface with no ivory, the cat will slowly slide down it, claws scratching and all? I can't think of a single time that helped me get anywhere I thought I was meant to go; if anything, that's usually what happened after I failed a jump that, in hindsight, was likely never to be made in the first place. And if you press the jump button while sliding down, you'll jump away from the wall instead of sliding down faster, which, at least to me, seems counterintuitive. There's too many hats to collect, which sounds like the most ridiculous con for a casual game such as this to have, but considering the playtime and the fact that half of them aren't even found by combing through the world, but bought from gacha machines, I don't understand what the thought process behind this decision was. And speaking of in-game currency, while the various optional tasks are reasonable, the one for recycling a hundred items (which is one of the ways you could get more currency) is absolutely not it. The city is only really big from the kitty's point of view, so if you don't keep track of this task (and a few other ones), you might end up having to play catch-up after getting everything else done (don't ask me how I know). Thankfully, for this one specifically, someone has figured out a way to cheese it, which I hope the devs won't pick up as a bug to be fixed. It still hasn't been a month since this game came out, so we'll see about that. Lastly, I think I missed some kind of emotional impact from this game. While A Short Hike was all about being in the moment to experience the beauty of nature and Lil Gator Game tried to approach growing up and the importance of taking a break, there's… really nothing here. Getting a collar from your owner, and with it, the ability to name yourself was a nice touch, but in the end, that's it. It's a perfectly okay game for casual players and cat lovers, which I - the broken record that I am - am glad to have played on Game Pass, because it's wildly expensive in relation to the amount of content it provides.

Half-Life 2

Meet My Teacher

0.6 hours
11 of 11 achievements

From the maker of SEXTS, this is… pretty much the same game, except with images that have a more realistic art style. The one thing that seems to have been modified besides that is that now, you can choose to input randomly generated strings of letters (using only C, V, B and N) or arrow keys, instead of a regular typing game. The BGM is still just the one annoying piece that won't help you concentrate at all, the images are still AI generated and "touched up by AI-friendly porn artists" aaand you can still make a wallpaper by compiling three of your favorite images. Lastly, I found that the achievement descriptions and icons for completing all free levels for each girl are jumbled up… but at least they unlock properly!

Half-Life 2

Pixel Paint Together

20.2 hours
19 of 19 achievements

I managed to snatch one of the codes for this one when the dev announced it on SG, but in retrospect, I don't really know why… I suppose I wasn't expecting this one to be F2P when it comes out. It's more similar to Love Colors than any other pixel coloring game, if only because it's being marketed as a game you can play with friends (again, I don't have any friends who would want to play with me, so I'm glad singleplayer isn't an afterthought). The dev was responsive to feedback, fixing a bunch of issues and even adding new images to the game not that long after it initially released, but I'm still looking forward to some QoL changes I think are important, such as making zooming in/out smoother (and making it possible to zoom out further, it's annoying having to drag your way around images this small) and removing the points/leaderboard system (because… why? why does it exist in the first place? all it does is stress me out about not spending every second coloring while I just want to find a new video to watch on the side). That being said, it is another casual coloring game, so as long as it keeps getting free content updates, I'm on board.

Half-Life 2

Wordle 5

1.9 hours
50 of 50 achievements

Wow! Can't believe I'm finally done with this series! This one was simply great, from the Cartoon category featuring Disney character names in spite of Disney having its own category, through the Tastes category, which was just one big mystery to me, all the way to the fact that a good chunk of the words you need to find are just missing their last letters. A great experience all around, definitely worth $10! Sarcasm, sarcasm, this is ALL SARCASM!

See you next month! :)

Progress report: April ‘24 (a.k.a. Huh? What?)

Huh? What? April? Yeah.

My friend suggested I try a different post style, so here goes. Do tell if this looks better and/or is more readable than the usual box summary + review list combo.

Half-Life 2

A Little to the Left GAME
PASS

15.8 hours
52 of 55 achievements

This game should be used as a supplement for neurodivergency tests. I was expecting a nice little game of putting stuff away neatly, in order of size or color, and it's not that I was completely bamboozled, but other solutions range from elaborate to "why the hell would you be doing this in the first place". Straightening photos, sorting documents, even organising your seashell collection is par for the course, but you can't convince me that there are people out there aligning their clocks' handles with the shadow of the tree outside their house or arranging the flies on their beloved spider's web in a symmetrical pattern. But if there are… please, seek help, and I do mean that genuinely. Go to therapy, hang out with your family or friends, take up a new hobby. Life doesn't have to be this suffocating. It's also beyond me that the main character has a cat. How on earth can you be this married to the idea of keeping every little aspect of your life this tidy, and yet have a pet that will come and ruin all of your work just for fun? Anyway, this one goes out to all the people who still think cats are getting a bad rep in media; there are so many games out there that treat cats like four-legged gods, and this is definitely one of them. Also, the only reason I haven't finished this game yet is the stupid "daily tidy" - a selection of 20 (or so) levels from the main game with some slight visual changes here and there that rotates daily. That by itself would be okay, but the achievements want you to do these for a hundred days… I'll take "PADDING" for $200, Alex. At first, these were frustrating because I didn't get into the main game, now they're just frustrating because it's all the same stuff, every day.

Half-Life 2

Bluey: The Videogame GAME
PASS

2.9 hours
22 of 22 achievements

I haven't seen a lot of the show, but I've heard that it's gotten popular for being all about having fun and enjoying life with your family and friends organically, no electronics involved, so I'm intrigued. I can't afford to subscribe to the service that offers the show in its entirety, though, so I figured I might as well play the game first. There are four short episodes to play through as sort of a story mode, each of which unlocks a new location to run around and play at, plus a fifth one for completing all episodes. Each location has an assortment of collectibles to find, as well as stickers for your sticker book. Finding those collectibles and playing minigames (unlocked during the story) leads to unlocking various hats for the Heeler family, and there's a load of them! And oh yeah, you can choose to play as any member of the Heeler family, at pretty much any time, which is fun. Also, don't forget about watering the plants! That was a thing introduced during the story mode, but I somehow blanked it out until right near the end of my hunt for all the collectibles and that became a pain in the butt. I also found the achievements for completing the minigames five times in a row rather redundant, it's not like anything in the game changes after you do that, and if you've done enough other stuff before that, you won't even get any new hats for it. All in all, though, I can't judge it too harshly - Bluey is made with kids in mind and I feel like - however ironic it may be - this game will keep all the little fans (and their parents) busy for a lot longer. It may also be worth mentioning that even though it's published by Outright Games (because of course it is), this game isn't broken. Or, well, it's just a bit borked, but that only gives it charm and doesn't actually impede the gameplay in any way.

Half-Life 2

Disney Dreamlight Valley GAME
PASS

149.7 hours
8 of 15 achievements

This game absolutely owns my baby bitch ass. Since I got myself a Game Pass sub again recently, picking it up from where I left off two years ago was very much on the table, and so I assumed I could just pop in for two hours a day… boy, how wrong I was. There was so much to catch up on that it became a timesink right away. I opened it up for the first time and ever since then, April has become a black hole. I can finally write about it, though, as I have officially completed all story quests, and in turn, beaten the game. (That was, like, 25 hours ago…) From now on, it's pretty much all cosmetic - critter feeding, crafting, buying out Scrooge's store for the day - and slowly, but surely, I'll be working my way towards the rest of the achievements. I will say, though, I caught up just in time for the new update that came out today… and I'm ready to get into it right after I post this.

Half-Life 2

Open Roads GAME
PASS

4.2 hours
16 of 16 achievements

This is one of those games that's been somewhere at the back of my mind since I learned of it before its release. Now that it's out and on Game Pass since day one, and it's really short (1-2 hours, according to HLTB), I knew I had to play it ASAP. Well… it's a walking simulator, which is a-okay with me, but looking at the gorgeous character art, I was expecting something more than a few short animation loops during conversations. In any case, you play as 16 year-old Tess Devine, and along with your mom, Opal, you're cleaning and packing up to move out of your grandma's house after her recent passing. After getting prompted to check out the attic, however, you uncover a secret that grandma Helen has kept for decades. Exploration is great, there's a lot of stuff you can pick up, even though it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things (possible alternate title 1: "Ashtray Pickup Simulator") and the locations themselves are full of life, but whenever you need to find something to proceed further, it's never a challenge of any sort. Half the gameplay is asking Opal about all the interesting stuff you find and whatever conversation or story comes out of that (possible alternate title 2: "Hey, mom!" Simulator"), and it genuinely miffs me that whenever you pick something up and it's just Tess commenting on it, Opal absolutely never chimes in - that's just unrealistic, considering it's her childhood we're investigating here and makes the game feel more empty than it already is, considering you don't get to see the characters occupy the space they're in unless they're talking to each other. Also, if you ask Opal to elaborate on an item you just picked up, you can see it locked in mid-air in the spot where you were looking at it seconds ago. Clearly not supposed to happen, but still funny. There's no satisfying climax or conclusion to the secret or what might happen to Tess and Opal after they move out, but alas, that's very much like real life, I suppose. It may not have been nearly as wondrous as What Remains of Edith Finch, but I still enjoyed the journey aspect of it. I saw a little bit of myself and my mom in Tess and Opal, and I feel like that's enough to still keep this game in the back of my mind, just in case I might manage to get my mom to play it one day. All in all, it was engrossing enough to play through in one sitting, but it's definitely too expensive for how short it is, so once again, I'm glad that I got to play it through Game Pass. (Also, maybe this is more of a me issue, but even though the voiceover is only available in English, the game language was set to Polish by default, and I couldn't change it back to English? Other choices included German and Russian, which makes total sense, and then… Brazilian Portuguese, for some reason? Seriously, the lack of a choice to go back to English is just confusing to me.)

Half-Life 2

Slime Rancher

12.4 hours
38 of 57 achievements

This ain't my first rodeo… so I got my friend to watch me play it. I've only beaten it while streaming it for her, cause after that there's really nothing new to unlock… yet still a bunch of achievements left to obtain. Well, what can I say… it'll get repetitive from this point on, but I still love this game. It hits the cozy spot like nothing else, and after I complete it here, I will have completed it three times, each one on a different platform. Looking forward to trying out the sequel in the future.

Half-Life 2

Where Jellyfish 水母在哪里

0.0 hours
100 of 100 achievements

Now that I'm branching out to all the other copycats, I've noticed there's an overwhelming amount of these made with just… well, cats. So to postpone that for a bit, I chose to play this one instead. The underwater kingdom location looked pretty cute and the BGM was nice, too. 's just a shame it was so easy.

Half-Life 2

Wordle 4

0.6 hours
100 of 100 achievements

I appreciate that this one used pictograms as hints. My favorite part was definitely "embassy" being lumped in with words starting with the letter U. Only one more to go now.

See you next month! :)

Progress report: March ‘24 (a.k.a. My Head Is Spinning…)

The two things worth mentioning about this month: I subbed to Game Pass again and I rushed to complete all the games I picked out for the Eight to Infinity! Eight Years of BLAEO event… so I didn’t commit fully to either. I like themes/events, but I’m looking forward to not feeling the pressure anymore ^^;;

Cats and Seek: Osaka - What a great example of a copycat (pun not intended) that improves on the original concept! This game isn’t nearly as heavy as 100 hidden frogs 2 (though heavier than all its predecessors), but it ran without issues on my laptop. Movement isn’t restricted to just up and down and it’s possible to zoom in quite a lot (which really helps, cause those cats can get tiny!). There also seems to be an option to change the colors of each (?) aspect of the game, which may be helpful if you experience eye strain or are colorblind. The BGM seems to be longer than the ones in the 100 hidden… series, and if it isn’t, at least it’s more pleasant to the ear. I’ll be keeping my eye on this series.

Fresh Start Cleaning Simulator - I happily welcome this new subgenre of first-person… shooters…? where you care for and clean stuff (think Slime Rancher or PowerWash Simulator)… but this just wasn’t it. Right from the start, it felt like it was taking too long to complete a single level. The upgrades alleviated that feeling somewhat, but each and every level will still take you about an hour. This is purely a “me” complaint, but the game was rather sluggish in some of the levels; it would only run better after getting rid of all the dirt. Going back to the upgrades: I think there’s too many of them and they get too expensive as time goes on. Even though the later levels are filled to the brim with dirt piles and have a bunch of plants that need watering, you won’t be able to get the last few updates (some of which sound pretty cool, I can’t lie), even if you complete all the levels perfectly. Even if you were, though, there just wouldn’t be enough levels to use them on. A simple fix for this would be to restructure the whole upgrade tree, lowering the prices and removing the unnecessary upgrades (let’s be honest, locking the ability to use bots without having to pick them up and put them down over and over is like YouTube locking the ability to watch videos with the screen locked behind their premium membership - it should be a basic feature and I am not willing to debate anyone about this). Overall, I would say that this game is very repetitive - and before you stop me - it’s just that this particular kind of loop wasn’t very exciting to me in the long run. Destroying the piles of dirt and vacuuming up the trash was the best part every time, the miscellaneous tasks (aka “find x and use it to fix y”, etc.) were okay, though they could use higher rewards for upgrades’ sake, but as soon as I was done with all that and saw that there was still about 30% to be done in the whole map and it’s all plants that need to be watered, I died a little inside. Weirdly enough, destroying the dirt piles counts towards the overall progress, but sucking up trash doesn’t? And when it comes to watering plants, the bot that can help you is really hit-or-miss, even when upgraded to the max - sometimes you can set it down, and it’ll water everything perfectly, other times, it’ll try really hard to reach that one tree or bush that was lumped in right behind the other plants that are already watered, and by god will it try and fail. Combined with the fact that I also tried using it in spots it wouldn’t be done with in the next few seconds, it’s just a point of unnecessary frustration I have with this supposedly chill game. Somehow, everything about this game feels like it was a matter of learning the formula and reproducing it - something something, corporate version of a cozy game. I don’t like being this negative about a game that just needs some more love, but… Island Saver was actually made in collaboration with a big company, and yet its gameplay loop is far more engaging.

Not Tonight - If you already played Papers, Please and you’re aching for more document inspecting action, Not Tonight is the game for you. Heck, that’s the reason why I wanted to dislike it… but in the end, it really wasn’t that bad. Anyway, Not Tonight is set in a fictionalized version of a modern day United Kingdom, where a xenophobic prime minister is gradually coming into power… and in turn, the Brits are prejudiced against foreigners from any and all corners of Europe. You can choose one of the few prewritten backstories for your character, but from what I understand, no matter the identity of your relatives, you were born British - until everyone around started ignoring that fact for their own comfort, that is. That has to be the best and worst part of the writing - people so vehemently ignorant of all your character stands for, they made me genuinely frustrated. I’m pretty sure I would have hurt somebody eventually if I had to endure that kind of treatment in real life. Since you’re presumed to be a “dirty Euro”, you have to prove your worth to the country by working as a bouncer for a multitude of venues throughout 2018. Thankfully, the game only has three chapters, so you see the beginning, the middle and the end of that year. It was surprisingly confusing to have to account for the year discrepancy at all times! There are a handful of tasks to do on the side to ensure a comfortable completion. I actually missed a few of these, because I was trying to avoid using a guide, but I managed to get just enough done to not have to go back. (I shudder at the thought!) I liked that each venue had its own distinct feel, especially considering that the music used for each and every one was royalty-free. The guest lists featuring some celebrity and fictional character names was a nice touch, too. If I could change anything, I’d remove the ability for characters who aren’t eligible for entry to push back, as it can waste a lot of time (yeah, I’m aware there’s a costume that does that, but from what I’ve read, wearing it will negatively affect Jupp’s opinion of you) and I can’t say I’m a fan of being told to “just die” by some rando whose ID was expired. I’ll be on a lookout for the sequel whenever I get the inspection itch again.

Richard & Alice - In a world plagued by eternal snowfall, Richard and Alice are prisoners. But they’re not locked up in any old prison - if anything, it looks more like a facility designed to keep people trapped under the guise of providing a shelter from the snow. That being said, Richard and Alice are no ordinary survivors, and this is the story of why. At first, you’re introduced to and assume control of Richard, which would make you think that he’s the protagonist, but after Alice appears at the prison and starts telling Richard her story, you quickly realize that most of the game is going to play out from her POV. There’s a lot more talking than there is point-and-clicking, which wouldn’t be too bad if the writing wasn’t sub-par. Richard and Alice feel like they were written by the same person more than they feel like characters that could stand on their own, and Barney, Alice’s son… he’s just too childish for his age. He’d be going to grade school in less than a year in some countries and you’re telling me he doesn’t know that the past tense of “bring” is “brought”? While there isn’t much puzzling to be done here, the latter half of the game has Alice and Barney wandering around a rather big stretch of the outside world… which would also be okay, if the view wasn’t so zoomed in, with the camera lazily trailing after Alice as she traipses around at a comparable speed (can’t walk faster if you can’t see where you’re going!) I don’t know how creating these locations worked in AGS, but from the player’s standpoint, the size of the locations would be equally as, if not more intimidating, if contained within a single screen. I was also bothered by the random trees near the edges, which would suggest a way into the forest when clicked on, but then the one spot that lets you move to the next screen isn’t even marked in any way, so you have to click right near it and hope that’s it. More of a minor annoyance than anything else, but still. Then, there’s the endings. Depending on a few triggers, you can get one of five available endings… but they’re all too samey and going back to get them feels like a slog, especially considering that none of them even explain anything (who was the man from the confessional? you may never know!) All in all, this game isn’t nearly as good as I might have thought it was back when I watched a certain YouTuber play it back in the day… That being said, I already own the other game made by the same studio, so I’ll give it a try sometime next year.

Sakura Angels - Thank god for the modern day Japanese high school setting of this one. It reads more like a regular fanfiction than straight up weeaboo wish fulfillment, but it’s still nothing groundbreaking or looking to innovate. I think the voice acting made it just a tad better. Sayaka is voiced by Yamamoto Ayano and I adore her cute voice, so I had to get Sayaka’s ending first, not that it matters much in the end. The premise was interesting enough, but I was wondering how it’s going to unravel and wrap up in just 3-4 hours, and sure enough, it was rather anticlimactic. You don’t even get to see The Big Bad™️, it’s just said to be “a queen of darkness”, and I guess she was sealed away so the artist wouldn’t have to worry about drawing her. After she’s defeated, whichever girl you interacted with more comes to check up on you and basically admits to having fallen for you. Then you’re shown a bit of some weekday morning later in time and after that scene is done, you get a white screen… and then you’re back in the main menu. That’s it? Not even a “thank you for playing”? Disappointing. Well, it wasn’t as bad as Sakura Spirit, but I’d rate it something like “at least I didn’t roll my eyes every few lines/10”, so there’s still a long way to go for this series.

Strawberry Vinegar - This was definitely a wake-up call for me to read more of ebi-hime’s VNs. I first fell in love with her writing style when I stumbled upon Is This the Life? back in 2015 (I should probably read it again sometime) and I can safely say that Strawberry Vinegar was another hit. You play as Sakuraba Rie, a rather aloof and cynical nine-year-old girl, who, one day, stumbles upon a mysterious demon girl eating the cookies she baked just a while ago. She introduces herself as Licia and convinces Rie to host her stay in the human world and feed her all kinds of delicious food… if she doesn’t want to have her soul reaped, that is. That setup kickstarts almost a week (here, Hell has six day weeks) of near-relentless banter, mouth-watering food CGs (and descriptions!) and Rie learning what it’s like to have her first real friend. I noticed negative reviews mentioning that Rie is unlikable and/or unrealistic, because she uses big words and acts all grumpy/annoyed a bunch, but I think that’s her whole charm. Her parents are lovefools, Lucia is from another world and her classmates are just idiots, it’s hard for me to see why she shouldn’t be the straight man to any and all of them. That’s the fun of it! There’s a point in the story where she has to remind herself that not everyone reads The Capitalist Manifesto (1958)! What kind of a nine-year-old would read a capitalist manifesto?! That’s hilarious! I may be a little biased, because despite no other traits that could make her seem out of the ordinary, between naturally fitting into the straight man role, talking all “mature for her age” and even just being annoyed about Licia putting one of her books back in the wrong spot until the end of the scene, she seemed somewhat autistic-coded to me. The art is really pretty (I wish there could have been a way to incorporate all of Licia’s sisters into the game!), I’m already itching to listen to the OST again and the good endings feature a time skip, which I always adore! I’d recommend this VN to anyone who loves good fictional food, cute girls and slapstick humor and isn’t turned off by generic anime tropes (yes, they do go “kyaaa!” whenever something surprising happens).

The Low Road - This was one of those games that I inexplicably really wanted to play, despite never having had it advertised to me in any way (or maybe that’s exactly why, now that I think of it)… and it was just okay. You’re Noomi Kovacs, a twenty-something who just graduated from spy school and is eager to get some spying action at her new job. Unfortunately, the company now gives all its cool spy missions to one agent only and Noomi is decidedly the last in line to that privilege. Unless all the other agents happened to suddenly become indisposed… The art style of this game is fantastic, easily the main reason I was so interested in playing it. Though maybe not my style, the music is pretty good, especially considering the design decision of having the player get cued in to every next chapter with a new song. The voice acting is a mixed bag - I really liked Noomi’s voice (this might seem out of nowhere, but she reminded me of Emma Stone at times - just a cool girl with a bit of a boyish edge), but then Oona’s voice was mixed really poorly for some reason. I also liked the running gag where characters made puns on Noomi’s name (not only was this the first time I learned of this name’s existence, but I also get to discover that it’s also delightfully punny? heck yeah!) and the MO of the Docilio cult (postponing the release of various technological advancements until some higher power greenlights it sounds like a cool idea that I’d like to see tackled in some other story… maybe coupled with some delightful time travel shenanigans?) The puzzles are another thing I feel mixed about - some were easier, some harder, but no hints or explanation were ever provided beforehand. The one truly great accessibility function available, however, was the ability to fast-forward through all the dialogue (even during the first playthrough, which was a bit annoying with the prompt constantly on the screen). On the other hand, though, the game has a tendency to hardlock on loading screens, making them infinite and forcing you to quit and relaunch. Happened a bunch of times for me, but every relaunch made the next part load up properly; still, you may want to consider that people have left negative reviews based upon their inability to fix this issue and since it’s still happening, that means the devs have never provided a definitive fix.

Vampire Survivors - The best game I might have never played, had it not been for my ex showing it to me. Another great thing is, since by now everyone and their grandma’s played it, I don’t have to spend too much time explaining what it is. But in case you missed it, Vampire Survivors is a minimalistic bullet hell-like game all about building up a killer loadout and surviving the fight against hordes of monsters. Scratch your brain? This game will claw at it, ripping it to pieces, then smushing it back together, which you will love and beg for more. It’s the game that makes you want to shout “just one more round, mom!”… and then you remember you’re an adult and you’re free to ruin your life on your own terms. I may have only completed the base game (without the adventures), but rest assured, I bought the first DLC and I’m ready to play it… maybe even right after I post this. (And this is how I learn there’s also a show in the works?! That’s pretty damn awesome!)

Wordle 3 - Welp… this one took way too long for my liking. They could have just made an “Alcohol” category if most of the beverages given were going to be alcoholic. The “Flowers” category was overkill.

See you next month! :)