Interlude 3 - 1 Year BLAEOiversary
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One year ago today, I submitted my first review for this site - LEGO Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I was in a pretty different place back then - I was still recovering from depression and mourning my dad, I had no idea what I wanted the future to be like, I was just focusing on surviving every day rather than really enjoying myself. And then I found this group on SteamGifts and thought, yeah, why not. I could write some shit about the games I play.
One year and 177 reviews later I feel a world of difference, and I really have BLAEO to thank. This site has been a major stepping stone for me to write again, to reconnect with people again, to make me feel like not just like a person again, but a worthwhile person again. I met so many lovely people and played a lot of great games. From the very bottom of my heart -*
Thank you for being so kind, for reading my dumb little reviews, for caring about games along with me. Thank you for tolerating when I post three times in one day, and when I go for three weeks without posting anything. Thank you for being a lovely, supportive community that I can feel safe and happy in.
This date isn’t important just because of my anniversary! After nine months of being un- and under-employed, I am 95% certain GOT THE JOB OFFER IT’S MINE that I have a full-time steady job that pays well! This takes a large weight off my shoulders - this spring has been tumultuous and stressful with money problems. Now I’ll have breathing room! I can save money again! I can relax!
And I can do something special for the people I care about.
In celebration, I’m going to be running a giveaway. This came in 3rd place on the BLAEO wishlist, and it’s something I’d be more than happy to give!
The giveaway will end on June 9th, at 7:15 in the morning. At that moment, I’ll turn 25, and somebody here will win a great game.
Thank you! I love you! Good luck! Here’s to another year!
*I did not make this card n_n;
Woho! Happy anniversary! To another successful gaming year! \o/
Good luck for the job! I hope you’ll have a better next year :) :*
Looking forward to your updates!
Happy backlog killing! :*
Nin!!! I got the job, Nin!!!
To another successful gaming year with you, too! Happy backlog killing for all! Give Tizio and Ameno big kissies for me!
THAT IS SO AWESOME! I’m SO happy for you! bounce
The moment I get hold of them, I shall smooch them to pieces ;)
I’m looking forward to another year of reviews. Some of them have made me play the games sooner and I thank you for that.
Oh man, that feels really good to hear. I hope they were all experiences you ended up enjoying!
Definitely :)
This comment was deleted almost 6 years ago.
I saw this comment earlier today but I had to take some time to lay down and gather my feelings because I was breathless with just… how much this means to hear. Thank you for reading and enjoying my reviews!! I just - I - this is so - I might have to lay down again. You helped push an already special day over the top.
Happy one year anniversary :)
Thank you very much, Garcias c:
Congratulations one one year of BLAEO reviews to everybody’s favorite bug in the system! And of course also big congrats on the job!!
How amazing that a site like this could turn out to be so therapeutic for you!
I hate thinking of somebody with so much to offer feeling not worthwhile, but, yeah…life can do that. :(
And…m-mourning your Dad? I had no idea. At least you have a great ally in heaven now, if you believe in those things. <3
GODDDDD You are SO never going to fucking let me live that down, huh, TRENT? What, you’re practicing your dad jokes here so you can terrorize your children later? <33333 Thank you, I will wholeheartedly accept a big congrats - A Big Congrats Mood.
Yeah, yeah, it’s like - it just let me write to have fun, with absolutely zero pressure or expectations. That is so healing and necessary. Now I gotta apply that to everything else! I’ve been getting yelled at on all sides (girlfriend, mom, therapist, vets on my derby team…) to stop putting pressure and being too hard on myself. I want to see what I have to offer, but it’s so hard. Times like this help a TON.
HA! Oh, man, that’s very sweet but if my dad is anywhere he’d be in Helllllll - in a not-bad way. I actually remember being around your kids’ age and him tell me that everyone in our family has a reserved seat in hell, right next to the devil, and I was all thrilled about it like yeah!! I can’t wait until I go to hell! The ways I thinks about it - having a great ally in hell is pretty good, too c;
On a more serious note: yeah, it’ll be two years this upcoming August. It was really awful, but it’s less difficult now. Every ‘first’ is still painful, and it hurts a lot knowing he’ll never see me play in derby, see me establish myself, etc. Not to preach, but if you smoke please try your best to quit - that’s how I lost him, and pretty much all of his siblings. I wish he would have quit for my sake.
Okay preachy time OVER I am glad we are friends, Trent
Congratulations on the one year and the job! I am happy you were able to find a place in this site, just as I have, and I certainly enjoy all of your updates. Keep killing tsuper, and stay well. ^_^
Man, for real, what a difference a year makes. Thank you so much. I enjoy reading yours, too, and I’m glad we’re comrades in killing. This site is like one of those memory foam mattresses - it fits every type!
Happy BLAEOiversary! And it’s definitely great to have you on this site – I may not read them all, or comment on them all, but I definitely enjoy the reviews that I get to read from you! :)
And congrats on the job front! That can make a huge difference in feeling okay with yourself, and I’m glad you’re on the stable income side of things! :)
Thank you! And I totally understand - it’s hard to read reviews for games you don’t particularly have interest in. I’m just glad I still haven’t worn out my welcome - I feel like I’m pushing it whenever I post a bunch in a row!
Ohhhh my GOD I hate how much job stuff effects my self-esteem, but really it’s like… a huge referendum on your ability to Adult. The FIRST thing everybody asks is ‘so where are you working/what are you doing?’, and it’s hard to not feel like it’s the Most Important Thing. It was so demoralizing trying to get interviews and feeling like nobody wants you bc you’re not good enough. Having someone really want me - REALLY want me! - is like… nuts. It feels so good.
And oh yeah the money’s going to help.
Congrats! :D :D :D
Thank you very much! n_n I always enjoy talkin with you and reading your posts and comments
Ooh I just saw this original post, pre-congrats on your new job that’s so great! :D Money stability is one of the biggest reliefs, I hope it gets rid of a lot of the stress you’ve been having. And man a lot of what you wrote hit close to home. I’m so proud of you for pushing through the depression and out of the routine of just surviving, it’s really tough. Hearing you’ve improved and found your worth makes me so happy. :) I still struggle with “just surviving” but have been trying to be conscious of it and doing it less, totally agree the community is wonderful with having little chats and getting excited about games again. I love how no matter how much you write/participate people still treat you like you belong which is pretty dang cool. Hope this year continues to bring good things for you. x
Ohhhh man it totally does. I talked about it a little in a comment to godprobe upthread but it DOES and it feels so good.
It’s so hard getting out of that hole, and it’s never like a ‘constantly improving’ process - there’s relapses and trying again and improving and relapsing, etc. One thing that’s helped above all is just drilling into my head that, like flowers turning to the sun… I have to let myself focus on stuff that brings me joy and makes me feel good. THATS important. I went to college in a major that’s very like ‘everything is sacrifice, if you’re happy then you’re complacent, etc.’ so I felt that Being Adult Means Suffering, and if I was seeking a reprieve from that suffering I was being childish and lazy and whatever - but… no. No! Life is about moving toward what makes you happy as much as you can. You’re going to do unpleasant things, like taxes and going to the doctors and cleaning your bathroom, but it’s in service to things that make you happy.
I hope that makes some amount of sense (I am SO EXHAUSTED). Your outlook and how much you’ve been up against and how far you’ve come is really incredible. I’m excited that the next year will bring more time on this site, belonging with you and everyone else.
Man I hate how that suffering mindset is pushed on people all the time. I can appreciate that people have suffered to give their kids a better life etc. but it shouldn’t be idealised. Many already struggle with mental health, the joys in life is super important!! Makes me sad how often I see it on social media. I 100% agree what you said, I’m so glad you realised early in your life! I’ve been told I’m childish but not when it matters (ie I can be serious when need be) which I’m perfectly okay with! Thank you, I’m excited as well. :)
I also want to congratulate you on getting that job. I’ve been looking and applying for over a year now and still don’t have one (heck, I only ever got two interviews), so I know how hard job searching can be.
That’s kind of you, devon, thank you!
Happy Anniversary and congrats! :D
Thank you very much, Big Blue!
Thank you for all your contributions to the website and for being an awesome person!
And congrats on getting the job, yaaaaay!
Aw, shucks! I didn’t contribute that much - I’m just out here talkin a bunch. Thank you for running the past two monthly themes - I like them a great deal!
Thank yooouuu god it is a HUGE relief. I still have a hard time believing it.
Congratulations on the job!! So nice you won’t have to worry about that any more :D I enjoyed all the updates, even if it looked like the site broke haha. They have a nice length, so easy and enjoyable to read, keep them coming :D I wish you many great years!
That is so very nice of you to say, Licena, thank you! I sometimes struggle with how long I should make the reviews, so I’m glad you enjoy the length. I wish you great years, too!
Yay, happy “BLAEOiversary”!
Sorry to hear about your dad, by the way :(
Thank you! A lot of partying this week!
And thanks - it’s been long ago enough that I’m mostly recovered, but it was a very difficult thing to go through.
Congratulations on your BLAEOiversary (now that’s a serious vowel-party for a word)! Securing the full-time job offer is great news, I can certainly understand the amount of stress relief. :) Happy upcoming birthday!
Thank you thank you thank you! It really did feel like a huge relief. I’m nervous and excited and still in a little bit of shock.
I had interviewed with the place three months ago, but the opportunity didn’t shake out. What’s amazing is that they remembered me and really regretted not hiring me and compared everyone else to me and that is just unheard of for me. I’m really eager to work with these women!
Happy anniversary, tsuper, and huge congrats on the new job! :D
It’s amazing how much difference a year can make, and it’s awesome that you were able to draw strength from the great community that we have here, and become its most prolific reviewer! Keep up the great work, keep fueling that enthusiasm, and…
This comment made me laugh really hard and squish my face between both hands. That’s so kind, thank you! I love the image. You know what? I think I will get down with my bad self!
I’m the most prolific reviewer? Really? I don’t think so! I just talk a lot n shit
Congrantss for all the good this happened with you ^^
Thanks for sharing with us all year long and more to go ^^
Thank you so much! It’s been a long time in coming and I’m so glad it’s here.
And of course! Thank you for reading - I’m glad people like what I do.
Happy anniversary and grats on the job :D
And thank you for making your posts. Like many, lately i have been mostly reading posts/comments and not participating myself. Since i started working in January fallowing BLAEO has been a good distraction from everyday things to do. Something like “If i can’t play all those games, it is nice to read others enjoy them” :)
Thank you thank you n_n
Ohhh, it’s really been my pleasure. The job might cut down on my game playing, at least for a bit - until I get used to it and all. Probably a lot more idling going on for sure.
I hope your job has been going well!
ack…I messed up cause I gave up on my plan…I was going comment on your birthday and wish you happy days but forgot about this for a few days and now I’m scared that I’ll just forget it period…sure if I forget about if for 4 days I can remember it in another 4 days but ack…decided to cave cause commenting is more important than making a comment on your birthday.
\o/
Thank you for being so bright and enthusiastic…
I haven’t read every post you make but I’ve read as many as I can and they always bring a smile to my face or at the very least have me mentally checking something off as a do not play/add to WL
I don’t know if I talk to you enough to be considered a friend but I like to think I am and ack >_<
I’m happy you found a job!
and happy anniversary \o/
Blue!!!
That is really really so sweet of you. I don’t blame you for forgetting - I forget a lot of things all the time! I’m really happy you had that thought at all. I’ll make sure to remember you said ‘happy birthday’ to me on my birthday and feel extra nice about it! (Or I’ll forget and we’ll really be a matched pair)
That is such a nice thing for me to hear - sometimes I feel like I’m just kind of flailling around with my reviews. I’m glad they make you smile and help you pick good games to play!
I definitely do consider you a friend! I like seeing you here and running into you on SG.
Thank you for always being a friendly, welcoming presence, and for all your kind words. I hope to spend another year with you, Blue!
Cool! :D Happy belated Anniversary! :D
Hey, wanted to post earlier but I forgot. Happy belated anniversary and birthday, might as well wish you an early merry Christmas and happy new year :p! And congrats on the job I hope you have nice colleague’s and you can find some enjoyment in your work. Even though I rarely comment on your posts I do read most of them, but many are about VN’s, which don’t interest me greatly. Still it’s good to hear you’re doing well :)
Ha! Thank you for coming back and commenting, Kal! I’m glad you’re thinking ahead and covering your bases XD
I do like my colleagues a lot, and, strangely, they like me! I’ve had two days of training so far and I’m really enjoying my time there, which is wonderful.
And that’s just fine - the fact that you read them even if they’re not genres you care for is compliment in and of itself.
Good to hear about the job. What’s not to like about you? You seem like a genuinely nice person, unless you have untold dark secrets (tell me! :p). I do enjoy reading your posts, I don’t dislike VN’s per se just not very familiar with them really. I think I could like them but wouldn’t really know where to start since there are so many of them.
Aww! No dark secrets, other than I can get kind of annoying or surly sometimes. I find it difficult to put on a real ‘professional’ air so I tend to have issues socializing at work… but this place is very informal in a good way, so I fit in!
Hmmmm! You wouldn’t know where to start, you say? I may have something to help with that, which you might have seen here or there. Find a tag you might be interested in and try some freebies out! (or just play The House in Fata Morgana)
Super late reply, sorry :p I’m so lazy sometimes :D Haha, would love to see what you’d be like being annoyed or surly, sadly no dark secrets :( Pfff, who needs “professionalism”, look at Donald Trump, just be yourself as long as you get your work done most people will like a fun person more.
That’s still a pretty extensive and quite intimidating list, but I’ve heard a lot of good things from “Doki Doki Literature Club!” and it’s free so I may try that one out at some point. I’ve also heard good things about The House in Fata Morgana, is it a horror-like game?
That’s good to hear, and I’m slowly beginning to fit in. I seem to be one of the more straight-laced people at work, but it’s mostly because I just haven’t relaxed and built a rapport with everyone yet. But thank you!
I did enjoy Doki Doki Literature Club!, and if you’re interested go ahead, BUT I also think it might behoove you to read a few of the more ‘standard’, normal VNs first. A lot of the thrill of Doki Doki is seeing how it takes standard VN conventions and turn them on their head. Being familiar with those conventions enhances the fun. Does that make sense?
Fata Morgana is a gothic suspense/mystery story with a lot of horror elements, yes. There’s violence, gore, and sexual assault in the story. I think it’s all handled with a very deft hand, but different people have different limits.
I’m sure you’ll be fine after you get some time to settle in. I always start out very shy and silent and it takes me a good while to loosen up.
Well are there any VN’s free/paid you would recommend to start out with? I’m fairly limitless to what I can stand there’s not really much that phases me, I don’t have any problems with nudity or sexuality either, horror does tend to bore me unless it’s done very well.
Hmm… absolutely baby’s first VNs…….
Well, the very first VNs I myself played (besides the Ace Attorney series on gameboy) was Katawa Shoujo and Analogue: A Hate Story and its sequel, Hate Plus. Katawa Shoujo isn’t on steam, is free, and has explicit sex scenes in it, Analogue and Hate Plus are on steam and should be discounted nicely during this sale - they’re older titles.
If you want to continue to round out the VN genre as a whole, CLANNAD is a mega-huge-gangbusters one of THE definitive Japanese VNs, Hatoful Boyfriend is DDLC!’s granddaddy in terms of expectation shifting, and narcissu and planetarian are wonderful examples of the eye-rollingly titled “cryporn” subgenre - CLANNAD, too, but these are the subgenre distilled.
For original english VNs, Cinders is one of the most beloved, Dream Daddy is sweet and lighthearted and fun, and Highway Blossoms is charming and full of heart.
But, you know, pretty much any game on that list is at least a decent entrypoint into the genre. I went back to consult it for this comment and I could make an argument for any game on that list. (for the record, Everlasting Summer and If My Heart Had Wings are my most questionable additions - others rightly don’t jive with them, but they have charmed me).
Above all, though, Fata Morgana (and its companion VN, Requiem for Innocence) reigns supreme. The only issue is if you start there, pretty much there’s nowhere to go but down! (I found myself in post-Fata Morgana withdrawl after I was done, and for a solid two months no other VN really had a fair shake)
I apologize for the behemoth of a comment - I’m tired and when I’m tired I begin to ramble. I hope it was helpful in some way.
Oh no don’t apologize I love long posts, you’ve certainly given me some good options. Definitely some that I won’t play though, “Dream Daddy” holds little interest for me as a heterosexual male; I actually have a DRM free copy for “Hatoful Boyfriend” and it’s sequel, but I don’t know how long I’ll find pigeon dating funny. I think I may have played some VN’s before but might not have recognized them as such. Thank you so much for the recommendations, it may be a while before I try them since there’s still a decent backlog to go though. I hope you continue to do well and I look forward to reading your other reviews.
Aw, yeah, that’s right, I keep forgetting everyone isn’t bisexual. But the writing is so sweet…
Hatoful Boyfriend has a lot of hidden depths - it starts carrying itself surprisingly quickly on the strength of its characters and then absolutely on its second half. Just give it a shot and play until you don’t want to play anymore - can’t hurt, right?
Aww, Kal, thank you! I hope the same for you, too
Happy one year anniversary!! :) Thank you for sharing all those reviews with us and the GA ^^ Looking forward to another year of reviews :)
fingers crossed that the job turns into a 100% thing :)
It did! MouseWithBeer!! It did! I made the post then left to walk a dog and got the phone call as I was driving. It’s happening.
I feel dizzy with relief. I’m so happy you like my reviews.
Yay, congratulations! I am so happy to hear! :)